Cachez-Moi Loin: Songs We Live By
by The Infernal Jynk
Summary: Sixth in a series! Yes, the long-awaited fic is here. This has a little different storytelling style, as well as being a song-fic.
1. Epiphany

{Author's Note: I'm sorry this has been so long in the making, so forgive me if it resembles other fics out there, but most of this was written three months ago, before the other fics existed. You can ask Akuma and Kurumi, they knew about this fic months ago. As some of you know, I've been in college for the summer and also was recently asked to create the website for the voice actor that plays Krillin in DBZ. Now that I have some time, I can work on my beloved fic series again. Every chapter of this fic is a different song and is for the character the chapter talks most about. It's going to have a weird way I wrote it, because each character is seeing most of the same series of events but from different POVs, meaning some of the chapters may appear to have holes, but when read all together, it'll make perfect sense, like a puzzle being put together. Bear with me as I try to get back into the swing of writing Tricky characters again. First song up is "Epiphany" by Staind. It's one of my favorite songs and couldn't fit the character better. I hope you like it.}  
  
----  
  
Your words to me just a whisper  
  
Your faces so unclear  
  
----  
  
"Earth to Brodi, hello."  
  
Brodi looked up at the smiling face of Zoe in front of him. He smiled back, letting his eyes focus after a long period of meditation. With a soft grunt, he unfolded his legs from the lotus position and settled back against the wall, studying the woman before him. Zoe's pregnancy was in full bloom now, she couldn't have hidden it even if she wanted to. Yes, motherhood certainly became the woman, Brodi thought.  
  
"Hello to you was well, little mother," the surfer answered. "How have you and the little one been?"  
  
"Pretty good. I think when it's time to have the baby, it's just gonna walk out with all the kicking it's been doing," Zoe chuckled, easing down onto a zabuton next to Brodi. He smiled softly and put an arm around her, letting her lean against him. The woman sighed softly. "It's Psymon I'm worried about though. Ever since Garibaldi, he's been distant. It's like he doesn't want to be around me, or anyone for that matter. He's acting like he did back before he and I got together."  
  
"He took the pregnancy news pretty well, but he may still be having a hard time dealing with the paternity of your baby. Give him some time and let him come around on his own. You know it'll just drive him away if you push the issue," Brodi advised.  
  
"I know. So, anyhow, I thought you might like to know the newest gossip," Zoe said and proceeded to go on about all the rumors and gossip floating around the league. Brodi smiled and nodded politely, but his mind was already drifting to other thoughts.  
  
----  
  
I try to pay attention  
  
Your words just disappear  
  
----  
  
After Zoe had left, Brodi went back to his medatative state, trying to focus on the root of what was troubling him these days. He carried a rather weighty secret with the knowledge of Raven's true identity, but it went beyond that, didn't it? He'd taken off from getting his doctarate in marine biology to travel and put in some serious time surfing the waves and snow. Needless to say, his father had not been pleased. He intended to go back and finish his schooling, but for now, he needed to travel. He needed the wind at his back, the waves and snow under his boards, and good friends to talk with. He'd found all of that now, but the depression of letting his father down was getting to him just a little more every day. He'd had a fight with his father the day he joined the SSX league, which hadn't helped matters at all. Now he just wish he'd apologized or, at the very least, not said some of the things he had.  
  
----  
  
'Cause its always raining in my head  
  
Forget all the things I should have said  
  
----  
  
Brodi walked through the airport with the rest of the team. He really wasn't fond of flying and nothing upset him more than being on a plane for great lengths of time with his league-mates. It was bad enough living with them with the arguments and general gossip, but being in an enclosed space was too much. Besides, where was he suppose to go if he wanted to get away? He checked his luggage at the counter and picked up his ticket, then followed Tenkai and the rest of the league to their gate. Once there, he plunked down in one of the chairs and sighed, looking around at the rest of the league.  
  
"Brodi? Are you okay?" a small voice asked. Brodi opened his eyes and smiled up at Kaori.  
  
"Hey, kid, how's it going?" he asked back, watching her sit down. She just smiled cutely at him.  
  
"I was wondering if you could help me with a problem," she said softly. Brodi shifted so he could look at the girl. She was biting her lip in that way she did when she was troubled. The surefer just sighed.  
  
"Sure, Kaori," he replied. "What's on your mind?"  
  
"It's about Raven. He's been acting...how do you say rabbity?" Kaori sighed.  
  
"I think you mean squirrely, and I've noticed it, too. I think he's just nervous about leaving home for the first time. He's never been out of the area, let alone across the ocean. Why not go snuggle up to him and give him some support? He seems to like you the most of all of us," Brodi answered. Kaori giggled and got up, then bounced (literally, she bounced) over to Raven and hugged him, surprising the young man. Brodi just smiled. It was good to see some of the league getting along, especially Raven. He just didn't fit in, and probably never would. The poor kid was still dealing with the knowledge that he wasn't suppose to exist in this timeline, but he wasn't going back, not till he made sure the mistakes of his time weren't repeated here. Brodi commended him for that. He rather liked the boy, even if he gave him a creepy feeling. He wasn't alone with his thought's long before their flight was called for boarding. He got up and shouldered his carry-on bag, then followed the rest onto the plane. He moved back towards his seat, listening to the others.  
  
"Come sit with me, Seeiah," Marisol called from her seat.  
  
"Luther, move your ass over. I'm not climbing over to you get to the bathroom," Moby snapped at the larger boarder, motioning to a window seat.  
  
"Why am I not surprised that Tenkai couldn't get first class seats for us?" Elise sighed, stowing her bag overhead.  
  
Brodi put his own bag in an overhead compartment, then settled into a window seat. Zoe plunked down next to him, yawning. She laid her head on Brodi's shoulder, making him chuckle a bit. Psymon sat across the aisle and stretched. Brodi nodded to him, smiling.  
  
"You want to switch seats?" the surfer asked. Psymon shook his head.  
  
"Nah, I'm good. I don't care much for window seats anyway, " the Canadian replied. Brodi just laughed and settled back in his seat. He looked over at Psymon, then down at Zoe and smiled. He liked the idea of them wanting to include him in their little "family." At least it was one family that would approve of him. He looked out the window and watched as the plane left the ground.  
  
----  
  
So I speak to you in riddles  
  
Because my words get in my way.  
  
----  
  
Brodi heard the footsteps coming up behind him and sighed. So much for meditation. He turned and looked over his shoulder, see Psymon there. He smiled at the man and shifted so he could face him more. The Canadian sat down and looked down at his hands. Brodi could tell something was wrong, and it was more than just Zoe's baby. He knew he'd never force it out of the man, but he could at least see what was on his mind at the moment.  
  
"What's wrong, grasshopper?" he asked softly.  
  
"Other than a little air sickness? Not much. I heard Hiro was going to be at the Alps course. I'm really worried about what this is going to do to Zoe. I think she's scare of him, Brodi," Psymon answered, sighing. He got more comfortable on the spare zabuton that Brodi had brought along on the trip for visitors.  
  
"I don't think I can help you until we meet up with him. Also, I think this is going to be something Zoe's going to have to do on her own," the older man answered. Psymon just sighed, looking down.  
  
"She shouldn't have to do this on her own," he said softly, barely above a whisper. Brodi blinked. This was not like the Psymon he knew at all. True, the erratic young man tended to show a softer side around the surfer, but nowhere near like the way he was acting now.  
  
"Psymon, is something else bothering you?" Brodi asked.  
  
"Read me like a book, Zen Master. I'm not going to tell you all of it, not right now, but.." the young man sighed softly again. "I did something I shouldn't have. Part of me regrets it, but most of me doesn't. I don't know why I don't feel worse."  
  
"Remorse is often replaced by false justification," Brodi answered. Psymon just nodded.  
  
"That actually makes sense," the Canadian said, getting up. "Thanks, Brodi. I'm gonna go, um, meditate on that or something. See you around."  
  
"Peace be with you, Psymon," Brodi replied, watching the young man leave. He sighed as the door shut and looked down, closing his eyes. "You'll need it, grasshopper."  
  
Brodi leaned over to his incense burner and lit a stick of incense, hoping that it would help him relax. He breathed the heady aroma in, letting it relax him as he chanted softly to the music playing on the CD player. He tried to ignore the party going on in Marisol's room next door and the action film blaring in Moby's room on the other side. He was happy to have his own room for once. The league had actually offered to get a hotel, but JP would have no of it and had everyone stay with him at his chateau near the course. He sighed and tried to let the chanting and incense carry him away.  
  
----  
  
I smoke the whole thing to my head  
  
And feel it wash away  
  
----  
  
His meditation was interrupted, not by the usual league-mate coming for advice, but by the phone. JP had been gracious and given everyone a private line, provided they pay him back for the calls made. He sighed and got up, walking over to the phone. He held the reciever to his ear.  
  
"Hello?" he asked, listening for a reply.  
  
"Hello, Broderick," a man said on the other side. Brodi sait down in the nearest chair with a sigh.  
  
"Hello, Father," he answered, not thrilled.  
  
"Are you well? Eating right and all that?" his father asked.  
  
"Yes, sir," Brodi replied, not really wanting to talk to his father. He'd rather be out trying to figure out what was bothering Psymon or maybe see if Raven needed any help. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with his over-bearing father.  
  
"So, when are you going to give up this 'extreme sport' nonsense and finish school?" his father asked. Brodi gritted his teeth, biting back the sharp-witted reply. It would solve nothing to fight with the man. "I'm going to see this season through, Dad. It's only a couple more months," Brodi said calmly. "I might go down and do a bit of surfing before the spring semester picks up, as well."  
  
"When are you going to get your life together, son, and start being a man?" his father asked.  
  
----  
  
'cause I can't take anymore or this  
  
I want to come apart  
  
----  
  
"I am a man and, furthermore, I'm doing what I feel is best for me," Brodi answered, becoming agitated with his father. "I don't need to have my hand held."  
  
"Apparently you do," the man on the other end replied harshly. "I don't want to sit by and watch you screw your life up with your little hobbies."  
  
"They're not hobbies," Brodi argued back. "Besides, this makes me happy, I thought that would be enough to you."  
  
"Well, it's not. You finish school and get your doctorate, then we'll talk about me being proud of you," his father replied. "Right now, though, you are a disappointment to me and to your mother. I don't know why you want to waste your life on these games."  
  
"Because they mean something to me," the surfer answered.  
  
"Likfe that Zen nonsense? Honestly, Broderick, that stuff is for the birds. You know it breaks your mother's heart that you don't want to go to church anymore," the older man answered. Brodi just sighed.  
  
"I like the Zen way of life, Dad. It's calm and peaceful," he answered.  
  
"Son, are you on drugs?" his father asked.  
  
"What? No," Brodi snapped. "I just like the tranquility. I'm sorry if my lifestyle no longer matches up to your standards."  
  
"No surprise there," the man answered. "You never were quite up to our standards."  
  
"I'm sorry that I'm such a failure," Brodi replied weakly.  
  
"You should be. Come to your senses and come home soon. Good-bye," the man said, followed by a click. Brodi held the phone to his ear a few seconds longer, hoping for a kind word from his father that would never come, then eventually hung up the phone. He rested his elbows on his knees, putting his face in his palms and sobbed softly.  
  
----  
  
Or dig myself a little hole  
  
Inside your precious heart  
  
----  
  
Brodi stood on the small balcony of his room, looking out towards the Elysium Alps. Tomorrow things would be different. He'd be gliding down the slopes fast as the wind, but tonight...tonight, he was alone with his thoughts. He hated feeling worthless and conversations with his father always brought that on. He knew he was doing something worthwhile with his life and he could always go back to college later. Besides, was the doctorate really important? He had a masters already. He sighed softly and leaned on the rail.  
  
----  
  
'Cause its always raining in my head  
  
Forget all the things I should have said  
  
----  
  
----  
  
I am nothing more than  
  
A little boy inside  
  
----  
  
Brodi sat on the floor in the dressing room, leaned back agains the wall and hugging his knees to his chest. He had his forehead resting on the tops of his knees and was quietly chanting "omm" to himself. He wanted perfect balance for the race, but his coversations from the night before still were fresh in his mind. He didn't want to be a faliure in his father's eyes and, more importantly, what could Psymon have done to feel justification for? He had a feeling, deep inside, he didn't really want to know, but his friend was haunted by it and he did want to help him. He looked up hearing voices and scooted further back along the lockers not wanting to be seen. He knew he should share his problems with them, they were his friends afterall, but it always ended up with him being the listener.  
  
----  
  
That cries out for attention  
  
Though I always try to hide  
  
----  
  
Standing out on the platform later, Brodi looked around at his league- mates. They were doing their usual pre-race stuff: teasing each other, stretching out, and fighting. The surfer just sighed and walked over to the two fighting and got them apart. The boarders were still trying to take a few swings at each other, one blow almost connecting with Brodi's jaw. He shoved hard at Moby, nearly knocking him to the ground, but still managing to keep JP back.  
  
"Enough!" Brodi shouted. "I have had enough. Can't you people act like adults?"  
  
----  
  
'Cause I talk to you like children  
  
Though I don't know how I feel  
  
----  
  
Brodi stormed off, not caring that Moby and JP looked incredibly shocked by his outburst. He sat on the bench and doubled over, resting his forehead on his thighs and covering his head with his arms. He just couldn't deal with the league's problems right now, not with his own guilt and stress gnawing at him. Breathe, count the heartbeats, breathe. He looked up at his name being called and walked over to the starting gate, then crouched to strap his board on. Standing up, he stretched a little and said a small inner prayer to Buddha. He placed his hands on the rails and rocked back and forth, watching the count-down lights. At the "go" signal, he and the rest of the boarders shot out of their gates like wild horese running a dervy for the first time. They glided effortlessly down the hill, yelling banter and encouragement among themselves. Brodi smiled to himself, gliding past Marisol. He enjoyed the races, but was a little sad that his "family" had both not been able to be in the race. Zoe was out on maternity leave and Psymon, well he didn't want to think about Psymon right now.  
  
Flying down the course, he pulled off stunning tricks, totally enjoying the ride. He felt the tremors long before the rumbling started. He looked around and saw the other boarders doing the same. Raven was the only one that didn't scared or surprised. Brodi's blood went cold. What if this was what he had been sent back to stop? He headed towards the boy, who had now stopped and was looking back up the mountaint. Brodi noticed a few other boarders had stopped as well. He followed the boy's gaze and stared. A huge flow of ice and powder was on it's way down.  
  
"That can't be good," Luther commented.  
  
"As opposed to good?" Marisol yelled. "Why are we standing here? Let's go!"  
  
"There was, well, it sounded like an explosion or something," Raven said. He looked at Brodi. "Marisol's right, we're all okay and we should go."  
  
"Karasu, I'm frightened," Kaori whimpered. Raven looked down at her, then back up the mountain. Brodi also looked up. He felt oddly at peace as white death was rushing towards them.  
  
----  
  
But I know I'll do the right thing  
  
If the right thing is revealed  
  
----  
  
"Go, people! Get down the mountain fast as you can!" Brodi shouted, snapping back to reality. The roar of the avalanche was getting louder now and he new that his shouting would soon be lost to the deafening thunder of the coming snow. He pushed at the boarders to get them out of their stupor and the group began racing downhill with the avalanche approaching fast. He was making sure not to get too far ahead in case anyone needed help. He looked back and saw the snow was almost upon them. For the first time in his life, he could see Death around the corner. Over his shoulder, he saw Raven knock Kaori down out of the way of some rocks and trees that had come crashing down with the snow. He ducked for cover behind a rock, pulling Marisol with him. He ducked down, trying to cover her with his body as the flood of snow and ice hit the rock and flew overhead and all around them. He was dimmly aware of Marisol screaming against his stomach, but could only hear the roar of nature's fury. Odd, it was almost like being in a pipeline while surfing.  
  
A strange peace came over Brodi at that moment and he wasn't afraid anymore. He'd get through this, and he'd make sure the other four did, too. So what if his father thought he was useless. He'd prove he had a use and he'd see his family again, not the ones that had bore him and raised him, but his real family: Psymon, Zoe, and the baby. He'd come back to them even if it was on his last breath. He looked up and watched the snow and ice shooting overhead, then curled into a protective ball around Marisol as it fell on top of them, cutting them off from the world. His last thought was an apology.  
  
----  
  
'Cause its always raining in my head  
  
Forget all the things I should have said  
  
---- 


	2. Who Will Love Me Now?

{Author's Note: Well, here we have chapter two. I'm going to try and get the other chapters for this fic up before my vacation in a few days, but hopefully this chapter will give a little temporary closure. So, strong topics are once again touched on in this chapter. As you can see, the story skips around in the chapters and overlaps, I wanted to try something new out by making each chapter a puzzle piece. You'll know the whole story when I'm done with the last chapter. So, thanks everyone for the kind words so far.  
  
-For Kurumi: Yeah, I have been planning this for awhile, thanks for all the late-night arguements about the plot.  
  
-For Akuma: Don't worry, there's no Moby pain in this...that I know of. I'm glad you liked the song.  
  
-For Nova: No Brodi/Marisol, sorry.  
  
-For Snowri: I'm glad the wait was worth it. It took forever to gather the right songs for this fic.  
  
-For B-chan: It was Mark Wahlberg (Boogie Nights) that sang "I'm Too Sexy", bot Billy Zane (Brodi's voice), so I doubt we'll see Brodi dancing around in this fic. I'm glad you liked this...in your own insane way. The song for this is "Who Will Love Me Now?" by PJ Harvey. I hope you enjoy it.}  
  
[Kurumi's Note: B-chan, you are insane and I like you already!]  
  
{Heh....honestly, folks, I don't know how she got in here.}  
  
  
  
----  
  
In the forest, is a monster  
  
It has done, terrible things  
  
----  
  
Psymon stood before the Beast. He feared it and yet was not afraid of it. Man and monster stood looking at each other, sizing each other up. Psymon just smirked at the twisted being before him, its leathery skin stretched taut over large bones. Horns and blades of bone stuck up all over the creature, making its flesh continually drip blood and black ichor. From where he was standing, Psymon could smell the decay on the Beast's breath. The creature sickened the Canadian, just the very thought that this monster of hurt and pain was a part of him. This was what his father had planted in his mind? This was what he had unleashed upon Marisol?  
  
He glanced about him at the scattered laughter in the trees surrounding the clearing Psymon and the Beast stood in. The voices were restless this night. Psymon looked back at the creature before him, then began to walk away. He no longer wanted to be around this...thing. He heard it move behind him, twigs snapping under its enormous claws.  
  
"You can't escape me," the Beast rumbled. Psymon stopped and looked back at it. It had bristled out its serrated quills and was now eyeing him with with bulbous silver eyes. It snapped its jaws, the large tusks audibly clacking against each other. Psymon took another step away from the monster, listening to it growl menacingly.  
  
"You have to give me credit for trying," Psymon answered.  
  
"I'll give you nothing," the Beast spat.  
  
"So be it," Psymon whipsered harshly and ran as fast as he could, the creature hot on his heels. Ahead of him he could see a glowing light, the light of safety. He could hear the trees snapping and splintering behind him as the Beast closed in. The glow was so close now. He lept for the safety of it, only to have one of his legs held fast in the monster's grip. He was yanked backwards into the darkness, into the insanity. Landing hard on the forest floor, he twisted and looked up as the creature's gaping maw closed down on him.  
  
Psymon's eyes snapped open and he sat up from where he had been slumped in his chair with a sharp cry of pain and fear. He relaxed, settling back, and rubbed his temples. He was panting and, worse, he was sweating. Looking up, he saw the concerned look of his teammates. He smiled, letting them know he was okay, and got up. He walked over to the window and looked out at the night and the lighted runways. He could see his rather haggard reflection in the glass. He could barely recognize the man before him. It was if seeing two men in the reflection, for within, he could see the Beast looking out of the glass. Psymon just looked away and began to walk back to his chair. Deep in his mind he could hear the Beast howling. He gritted his teeth, determined to resist it's song of temptation.  
  
----  
  
So in the wood, it's hiding  
  
And this is, the song it sings  
  
----  
  
"You want to switch seats?" the Brodi asked after Psymon had sat across the aisle from him and Zoe.  
  
"Nah, I'm good. I don't care much for window seats anyway, " the Canadian replied, shaking his head. The less he had to deal with windows and reflections, the better. He looked over at Zoe snuggled against Brodi and smiled. She never had a problem with traveling, in fact she was already asleep. She looked so peaceful. Psymon didn't like that they were at odds right now, but how could he bring himself to tell her he'd finally decended fully into darkness. He'd taken that last step from humanity when he'd taken that first step into Marisol's bus. It went further than him cheating on her, he'd betrayed her, and himself, when he'd raped Marisol. Why didn't he feel worse about it?  
  
"Would you like something to drink, sir?" the attendant asked, tapping Psymon on the shoulder. He looked up at the woman and stared. In this poor light, the woman's face contorted into monsterous features. Large, uneven, and dangerously sharp teeth sprouted from the woman's now misshapen mouth as she stared coldly at him with bleeding black eyes. The hand on his shouler became twisted and clawed, digging into the flesh. Psymon squirmed, wanting to be away from the creature. He put his arm over his face, trying to protect himself from whatever danger might come. He looked up when he heard the woman's concerned voice calling him, "Sir? Are you alright?"  
  
"Is there any hard liquor on this flight?" Psymon rasped, trying to make himself relax. The woman nodded slowly, worry still in her bright blue eyes. The Canadian coughed politely, clearing his throat and looked at the woman. "I'll take the hardest drink you're allowed to serve on the flight, no ice." "Yes, sir," the attendant replied, pouring a drink. She put a napkin down, then set the glass down on it. "That'll be three dollars."  
  
Psymon nodded and dug his wallet out, then paid the woman. He tucked his wallet away again and sipped at the alcohol, letting the warmth of it comfort him. He glanced over at Zoe and Brodi and saw that both were still asleep. Good, he thought. He really didn't want them to see these spells of terror he'd been experiencing lately. Settling back in the seat, he took another sip of his drink and glanced around. The other passengers were sleeping or reading, some occasionally looking like the nightmare creatures that had begun haunting him lately. He had become aware that his hand was shaking and set the glass down, afraid he's spill his drink. He hugged himself, trying to make the trembling stop, and choked back the tears he could feel building up in his closed eyes.  
  
----  
  
Who will love me now? Who will ever love me?  
  
Who will say to me, "You are my desire, I'll set you free?"  
  
----  
  
Psymon knocked on Brodi's door, but heard no reply. He opened the door and peaked into the dark room. Soft music played from somewhere near the foot of the bed. Brodi was probably meditating, Psymon figured and slipped into the room. He quietly made his way to the source of the music, not wanting to disturb his friend if he was lost in his thoughts. He looked down at Brodi, smiling a bit. The older man was sitting in lotus position, facing away from him, his head down a bit. Psymon moved to leave, but Brodi looked up, then over his shoulder at him.  
  
"What's wrong, grasshopper?" he asked softly.  
  
"Other than a little air sickness? Not much. I heard Hiro was going to be at the Alps course. I'm really worried about what this is going to do to Zoe. I think she's scare of him, Brodi," Psymon answered, sighing. He got comfortable on the spare zabuton that Brodi had brought along on the trip for visitors.  
  
"I don't think I can help you until we meet up with him. Also, I think this is going to be something Zoe's going to have to do on her own," the older man answered. Psymon just sighed, looking down.  
  
"She shouldn't have to do this on her own," he said softly, barely above a whisper. Psymon hadn't liked the idea of Hiro being involved so soon. He was concerned for Zoe and the baby and didn't want any stress hurting them. From what he'd heard about the man, Hiro was a possessive jerk and would do almost anything to get what he wanted. He knew he couldn't stop Zoe from leaving him, but he didn't know what to do without her. Besides, she probably wouldn't want him if she knew what he'd done to Marisol.  
  
"Psymon, is something else bothering you?" Brodi asked.  
  
"Read me like a book, Zen Master. I'm not going to tell you all of it, not right now, but.." the young man sighed softly again. "I did something I shouldn't have. Part of me regrets it, but most of me doesn't. I don't know why I don't feel worse."  
  
"Remorse is often replaced by false justification," Brodi answered. Psymon just nodded.  
  
"That actually makes sense," the Canadian said, getting up. "Thanks, Brodi. I'm gonna go, um, meditate on that or something. See you around."  
  
"Peace be with you, Psymon," Psymon heard Brodi call softly as he shut the door. He nodded to himself. He'd need that peace.  
  
----  
  
Who will forgive, and make me live again?  
  
Who will bring me back to the world again?  
  
----  
  
Psymon walked down the hall to his room, looking at the paintings and antiques decorating the walls and shelves. It was nice of JP to let them use his chateau instead of having to stay in some crappy hotel. It was more private, more room, and best of all, quieter. Psymon stopped at a set of French doors leading out to a small balcony. He walked over and looked out the glass at the moon-kissed snow that lightly dusted the seemingly unused baclony. Trying the door, he found it unlocked and walked outside, not minding the chilled air. He leaned on the railing, fishing out his pack of Pall Malls, and lit one. Inhaling the smoke, he relaxed a bit and let his thoughts drift. He hoped that Hiro would be understanding, but seeing as how he was good friends with Marisol, that probably wouldn't happen. He'd warned Marisol that he'd get even if she tried anything, but that might prove difficult from a jail cell. He hated that balance of power they had over each other.  
  
Looking up, Psymon gazed out at the slashes of black across the white and dark blue field. He'd always liked forests, especially at night, but ever since the nightmares started, he hated them now. He frowned and flicked a bit of ash from the end of his cigarette. A shuffling sound from below brought his attention around and he looked down at the clean whiteness of the courtyard now marred to see a dark shape stalking across it. Psymon felt the fear creep along his spine as his body began to tremble.  
  
----  
  
In the forest, is a monster  
  
And it looks so very much like me  
  
----  
  
The Beast looked up at Psymon, it face a twisted version of Psymon's own. The Canadian swollowed hard, hoping he wasn't really seeing the the nightmarish creature. It howled, rattling the windows with its voice, then began pacing closer, leaving a bloody trail in the snow from its constantly bleeding wounds. Psymon yelped as the cigarette burned him and dropped it. He looked down and saw the monster staring at him, licking itsdeformed lips with a long black tongue. It reached up and took hold of the trellis, then began to climb it. Psymon whimpered and moved as far away from the approaching creature as the balcony railing would allow him.  
  
The creature settled onto the balcony railing and perched there, watching Psymon with it's hideous white eyes. It grinned at him, blood and who knows what else spilling out of it's mouth onto the balcony. Leaping down from the railing, it stalked closer, reaching out with a clawed paw- like hand. Psymon turned his face away, squeezing his eyes shut. He just wanted to wake up. The Beast gripped his jaw thightly, its claws cutting into his cheek, and forced him to look at the creature.  
  
"I see I have your attention now," it hissed, the stench of its breath making Psymon gag. The monster leaned close, sniffing at him. "Is that...fear I smell? How delightful."  
  
"You're not suppose to be here," Psymon choked out. The Beast laughed, tightening his grip on the man's throat. The creature's free hand tore the front of Psymon's t-shirt, shredding it effortlessly. Psymon shivered out of fright, more than coldness. He felt the creature's cat-like tongue glide across his bare chest, tracing the tattoo.  
  
"I do so love the taste of fear," it laughed, then bit down, drawing blood from Psymon's chest and shoulder as well as a hoarse scream. Psymon grappled with the monster, trying desperately to get away from it. He pushed hard and the creature backed up and snarled at him. "What's wrong? Don't like the violence?"  
  
"Get the hell away from me," Psymon shouted, putting one hand over the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. The Beast grinned evilly, its white eyes reflecting the moonlight. It began walking closer, deliberatly slow, its claws clicking on the balcony's floor. It reached up and ran it's clawed fingers through it's long mane of blood-matted hair and quills, then stood before Psymon. It resembled the him a little too much for the Canadian's liking.  
  
The Beast looked like Psymon, only its horrible body was nude and covered with black ichor, blood, open wounds, serrated quills, and bone blades. Where Psymon's normally handsome features would be was a nearly skull-like face with over-sized jagged teeth and egg-like white eyes. It stood there, on twisted, beastial legs that looked more adapted for the creature to be quadrepedial intead of upright. It crouched slightly, hissing, then launched itself at Psymon, nearly knocking him backward over the railing. The man fought against the creature, trying to keep it from attacking him further, but the creature just laughed and caught hold of his wrists. It stared into Psymon's eyes, making the terror creep up though his body once again.  
  
"I see you'd rather wrestle than talk, Psymon," the creature growled, smirking. He twisted Psymon around and pinned him against the railing. "Shall we see if you like to wrestle the way you did with Marisol?"  
  
"No!" screamed Psymon, pushing back against the monster of his own making. The creature stumbled back, but was only off-gaurd for a moment, before striking again, raking its talons down Psymon's back. The man screamed as his flesh became ribbons under the Beast's onslaught. Psymon dropped to his knees, no longer able to stand from the pain. The Beast growled and crouched besided him. Psymon tilted his face toward the creature. "Please, no more."  
  
"Isn't that what Marisol begged you?" the Beast asked, placing a clawed hand on Psymon's torn back and pushing him down. "And how did you respond?"  
  
"No," Psymon whispered, eyes widening. The monster gave a sharp yank and ripped Psymon's jeans, pulling them down to his knees. He felt the creature behind him, on top of him, inside him, and then...nothing. Psymon opened his eyes and blinked. He sat up and looked around, but found no sign of the beast. His clothes and flesh were intact. It had been a dream, and this time he'd been awake for it. He stood up and looked down in the courtyard. There, shining in the moonlight was a trail of bloody footprints that no human could make. Psymon shivered and wrapped his arms around himself, slumping back to the balcony floor, and began to cry.  
  
----  
  
Will someone, hear me singing  
  
Please save me, please rescue me?  
  
----  
  
  
  
Psymon sat on the edge of the bed putting his boots on, listening to Zoe putter around the room. He glanced up a few times, watching her. He had put the night's terrors away and was looking toward the race now. After tying his laces, he got up and stretched, then caught ahold of Zoe in a hug, nuzzling her neck and shoulder. She merely pulled away and went back to cleaning and straightening the room. Psymon frowned.  
  
"Yeah, I love you, too," he murmured, walking to the closet and looking for a shirt.  
  
"Psymon, I just straightened up in there," Zoe called, sounding rather annoyed, from the other side of the room. Psymon growled softly and looked at her, his hand still on the clothesrack.  
  
"Is it okay if I just get a god damned shirt to wear in the race? Is that okay?" Psymon snapped. Zoe threw the bottle she was holding at him. He ducked, hearing it break against the closet wall. He pulled the first shirt his hand caught hold of out and stormed out of the room. He ran smack into Raven in the hall way and knocked the boy into the wall. "Move."  
  
"Psymon, wait," Raven called. Psymon looked back at him.  
  
"I've got a race to get to, boy, and so do you," he answered. Raven walked up to him and kicked out, sweeping the man's legs out from under him. Before Psymon could get his bearings, the boy pinched a nerve in his leg and pulled, straining the muscle and nerve. Psymon gave a sharp yelp and swung at the boy, who knocked his hand away calmly. Raven punched him hard and the last thing Psymon saw were white lights dancing aross his vision before blacking out.  
  
  
  
  
  
----  
  
Who will love me now? who will ever love me?  
  
Who will say to me, "You are my desire, I'll set you free?"  
  
----  
  
Psymon moaned softly, waking up. He tried to rub his forehead, but found that his wrist was restrained. He looked over, eyes still trying to focus and saw he was bound with leather straps. Grunting softly, he pulled at them, but found they were too strong for him to free himself. He sighed and laid his head back on some pillows. Hm, pillows, Psymon thought. Well, he was on a bed and he was bound and--he looked down--he was nude. He really didn't want to know what kind of kinky thing that kid had for him. He shifted a bit, getting as comfortable as he could and sighed. Nothing left to do but wait since Raven was in the race.  
  
A door open on the far side of the room and a man walked in that Psymon didn't recognize. He tried to sit up, but didn't really achieve it. The man walked over and looked down at him, then checked his restraints. Psymon just watched silently, till the man swabbed his throat with an anesthetic-soaked cotton ball. He bucked against the restraints, now very afraid of what this man intended to do.  
  
"Easy now, it's not going to hurt," the man crooned softly. "My client specifically requested that you not be harmed during this proceedure."  
  
"Proceedure?" Psymon asked. "What proceedure? What's going on?"  
  
"Calm down. If you keep wiggling like that, you're going to make me injure you and we don't want that, do we?" the man replied, laying out some surgical tools. Psymon glared at the man.  
  
"Fuck you," he spat out. "Let me go right now. I don't know what you're planning, but I'm pretty sure it's not legal."  
  
"You're probably right, but money is money. Now, lie still," the man said, picking up a clamp of some sort. Psymon whimpered softly. He didn't want this, didn't even know what was going on, but didn't want to be hurt anymore than this man intended. The man pinched the skin of the hollow of his throat very near the collar bone with the clamp. "Remember, hold still and you shouldn't feel anything."  
  
Psymon relaxed as well as he could and squeezed his eyes shut. He felt a small pain at his neck and bit his lip. He knew he was bleeding, but couldn't tell, didn't want to know what the man was doing to him. Something was being pushed into his throat and, despite what the man said, it hurt. Psymon gritted his teeth, tears forming in his eyes. He wanted it to stop, he wanted to get up. Soon a new sensation started, then Psymon realized he was getting stiches. He wondered what could possibly have been done that he'd need stitches. He opened his eyes, feeling the man now wiping at the blood and his tears in a half-assed attempt to clean him up.  
  
"Please, let me go," Psymon rasped.  
  
"You shouldn't try talking so soon. I'll come back in a bit to check on you," the man said, getting up. He gathered his tools and left, but not before covering Psymon with the sheet. The Canadian laid back and sighed. What now?  
  
  
  
----  
  
Who will love me now? who will ever love me?  
  
Who will say to me, "You are my desire, I'll set you free?"  
  
----  
  
Psymon was sitting up as best he could with his arms restrained when the man, Sam he had been told to call him, walked in. He knew now what had been done, and was not happy about it. Afterall, if he'd wanted a madison-- a ring piercing the hollow of his throat--he'd have gotten one. What bothered him was that he didn't know who was behind it, but he didn't think this could be the work of Raven. The kid was tough and would kick your ass personally, this wasn't his style. Sam walked over and looked at him.  
  
"And how are we feeling today?" he asked.  
  
"We'd like to rip your nuts off and force feed them to you," Psymon answered, glaring at his captor. Sam just tsked and applied some antibiotic ointment to the pierced flesh. Psymon cursed at the sharp sting of the medicine. He looked up at the man. "Look, not that it hasn't been a blast watching your fat ass tool around the room here, but I'd really like to go now."  
  
"Nope, not until my client comes to pick you up," Sam answered, sitting on the bed. He held up half a sandwich for Psymon to eat.  
  
"This better not be bologna again," Psymon griped, taking a bite of the sandwich. He chewed, sighing softly. It was bologna. He hated bologna with a passion. After swallowing, Sam held a glass of milk up for him to drink from using the straw in the glass. He ate his lunch in this fashion quietly. At least, as captors went, Sam was a decent fellow. He fed him, cleaned him, talked to him, and took care of him. He didn't know how long he'd been here, but he was really ready to go now.  
  
Suddenly, the door open and Marisol walked in. Psymon nearly choked on his sandwich. Well, that did answer some questions. He struggled a bit, wanting very much not only to sit up, but to get up and knock the bitch around. She limped over to the bed and looked down at him. Psymon was surprised to see weariness and saddness in her eyes rather than the usual cruelty. The Latin woman sat down and ran her hand gently over Psymon's new piercing.  
  
"How are you feeling, Psy?" she asked.  
  
"Like I'm going to give you a repeat of Garibaldi and much more," Psymon answered around a mouthful of sandwich. No sense in letting it go to waste. Marisol just smirked.  
  
"Did we forget that I'm in control now?" she replied, toying with the madison piercing. Psymon grunted softly at the slight pain. She looked at Sam. "You can go now. Your payment has already been transfered, plus extra for taking care of him."  
  
"Thank you, miss," the man said, getting up.  
  
"Hey, Sam, great hanging with you," Psymon called. "And I really think you should invest in those stocks, man. Cordless toasters sound like the wave of the future."  
  
"Thanks," the man chuckled and left.  
  
"Damn it, there went my lunch," Psymon complained. Marisol shook her head and picked up the other half of the sandwich for him to eat, but he looked away. "I'd rather starve."  
  
"Then you just might," Marisol snapped, tossing the sandwich back on the plate.  
  
"How long have I been here?" he asked, looking back at her.  
  
"About three days," the woman answered. Psymon stared at her.  
  
"Three days? Three fucking days? And you didn't think anyone would notice?" Psymon shouted, pulling at his restraints. Marisol slapped him hard.  
  
"Shut the fuck up," she screamed. "I just got out of an avalanche."  
  
"Avalanche?" Psymon asked, the words sinking in. "Sweet mercy mayhem, was anyone hurt? Is Brodi okay?"  
  
"Yes, he's fine. He saved my life," Marisol answered. "JP got pretty banged up, but he's going to be okay."  
  
"Marisol, please let me go," Psymon requested softly. The Latin woman shook her head then laid down, placing her head on Psymon's chest and began crying. Well, this isn't akward at all, Psymon sarcastically thought to himself. On one hand, he really did want to comfort the woman, but on the other, he just wanted to knock the shit out of her and go find Brodi. "Marisol, are you okay?"  
  
"Just fine, mi animal doméstico," she answered, hugging him around the waist. She tilted her head and looked up at him. "Sam did a good job on the piercing."  
  
"Um, yeah, I guess so," Psymon answered. "Why on earth would you make me get this?"  
  
"I need something to attach the leash to, mi pequeño perro," she answered. "And what better collar than you're own neck."  
  
"Okay, now that's just a little creepy. Marisol, please, you can't keep me here. I need to go see Brodi, to see if he's okay," the Canadian begged. Marisol sat up, tracing the tattoo across his chest. She looked at him and grinned wickedly. Psymon just blinked. The woman got up, pulling the covers back, and admired him for a then began undressing herself. Psymon squirmed, not liking the idea of what was coming next. Marisol reached down and gave a sharp tug on Psymon's lower piercing, getting a yelp out him, then climbed on top of him, straddling his hips and lowering herself onto him. Psymon gasped involuntarily at the sensation of entering her. He looked up at her, struggling against his restraints again. "Don't do this, Marisol, please."  
  
"Those words sound familiar, amante," the woman laughed bitterly and begun moving against him. Psymon thrashed about, desperate to free himself now. Marisol just laughed. "That's right, just like that. That feels good, Psy."  
  
Psymon stopped moving, laying perfectly still. No reason to give this woman anymore pleasure than she was already helping herself to. He looked at the restraints and saw one had begun to slip off his hand. Psymon grinned and looked back at Marisol, and began moving his hips just a bit to hide the motions of trying to get his hand free. His smile faded when Marisol's features melted into those of the Beast. The creature rocked violently on him, its blood and drool dripping down onto his exposed chest and belly. Psymon bucked, wildly flailing now to free his hand. The creature howled in pleasure, raking its talons down his chest and stomach.  
  
"Fuck!" Psymon screamed, convulsing under the Beast. He could feel his hand was almost free now, but the creature's movements felt like it was fixing to castrate him with its sex. The Beast laughed and leaned close, licking him with its black cat-like tongue. Psymon cried out again, very afraid that this monster was going to kill him. The creature pulled back, still moving, and looked at him in puzzlement. Psymon kept screaming, despite the monster's best efforts to quiet him. He pulled his hand free, finally, and punched as hard as he could against the monster's temple, knocking it off of him. He heard it land on the floor with a thud and lay there panting for a moment, then freed his other hand and his feet. He got off the bed and saw the Beast was getting up, and tackled it. He began hitting the monster, ignoring it cries of pain. Eventually he stopped, long after the Beast was unconscious and skuttled back away from it. He huddled into a corner, hugging his knees tight against him and cried.  
  
----  
  
Who will love me now?  
  
Who will ever love me?  
  
----  
  
The door opened and Psymon looked up, not really seeing through his tears. He could hear voices, but couldn't understand them. Someone knealt in front of him and waved their hand in front of his face. He reached out, cautiously trying to touch the hand, but it was pulled back to quickly. Arms reached around him and pulled him up as a blanket was wrapped around him. Psymon had no idea what was going on, only that for now, the nightmare was over. He felt the darkness creeping up, taking him over. He felt himself go limp, hands catching him, then it was black again.  
  
----  
  
Who will love me now?  
  
Who will ever love me?  
  
----  
  
Psymon coughed and opened his eyes, cursing at the brightness. He heard shuffling and tried to look over, but found he was very weak. Someone sat on the bed and held his hand. He blinked, his eyes finally adjusting, and saw Brodi. He smiled a bit, but noticed it wasn't returned.  
  
"Brodi? Are you okay?" he asked hoarsely.  
  
"I should be asking you that," the older man answered. "I don't know what happened in there, but you almost killed Marisol. She just got out of being in the hospital from that avalanche.  
  
"The avalanche," Psymon rasped. "I'd almost forgotten. How's JP?"  
  
"Psy, are you not listening?" Brodi snapped. "You nearly beat Marisol to death. The authorities want to arrest you."  
  
"I didn't touch Marisol. It was the Beast that haunts me," Psymon replied. "Can I have some water?"  
  
"Beast? An animal did this to her?" the surfer asked, letting Psymon have a sip of water. Psymon shook his head.  
  
"No, man, no one hurt Marisol. I told you, I was attacking the Beast," Psymon said softly. He didn't understand why Brodi wasn't getting it. Hadn't he seen the monster laying there in the room?  
  
"Psy, were you having another episode?" Brodi asked calmly.  
  
"I don't really know," the younger man answered.  
  
"Marisol told me what you did to her. Why did you do that, grasshopper?" Brodi asked.  
  
"She pushed me too far," Psymon answered. "But I paid dearly for it. I lost my humanity, Zen Master, and I don't know if it'll come back. Everywhere I look, I see these monsters and demons haunting me. I guess Marisol got even with me after all. She raped me before she changed into the Beast."  
  
"Psymon, brother, there was no beast or monsters, it was just Marisol," Brodi explained calmly. Psymon took a ragged breath, tears welling up in his eyes.  
  
"Oh, god," he breathed. "Is she going to be okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so. You're going to need to get help, Psymon," Brodi answered, touching Psymon's cheek, wiping away the wetness there. "You know Zoe and I will see you through this. The league's not happy, but they never are. I'll talk to them."  
  
"Thank you. I really messed up this time, eh?" Psymon asked, tears rolling down his cheeks. Brodi just nodded, concern in his eyes. "Tell her I'm sorry."  
  
"Get some rest, grasshopper," Brodi said, getting up. Psymon sniffled, watching him walk away.  
  
"I love you, Brodi," he called. The older man turned around and looked at him. "I love you and Zoe both."  
  
"I love you, too, Psymon. I'll come back later," Brodi replied, smiling, then left.  
  
Psymon relaxed back against the pillows, letting the sobs come freely. After some time, the tears had gone and he lay there, looking at the unfamilar ceiling above him. A noise caught his attention and he looked in its direction. Fear gripped him, making him trembling, as he saw the source of the noise. Clinging to the ceiling, in a poorly lit corner, was the Beast. It laughed at him, taunting him and his mistakes. Psymon cringed in the bed, watching the creature perch there, upside down on the ceiling, and drip its fluids while licking it's deformed lips.  
  
"I still have you," it hissed, as Psymon began crying again.  
  
----  
  
Who will love me now?  
  
Who will ever love me?  
  
---- 


	3. Running Away

{Author's Note: Yay chapter three! Pook! Anyhow, on with...stuff. I managed to get this up, but I make no promises for the other three chapters of this fic to be up before my vacation. I'm trying to make each chapter sorta self-contained and yet dependent on each other. So, this chapter is for Zoe and I gave her the song "Running Away" by Hoobastank.} 

[Kurumi's Note: Huloooo! ^___^] 

{Again? I'm calling an exterminator U__U;;} 

----  
I don't want you to give it all up  
And leave your own life collecting dust  
---- 

Zoe woke up, feeling the plane land. She shifted a bit, getting comfortable with the baby in her belly, and looked up at Brodi, who was still asleep. Stretching a bit, she rolled over in the seat and looked at Psymon. He was having one of those fitful sleeps again. She wished she knew what he dreamt, or rather nightmared, about and how she could help him. The plane's touchdown seemed to jolt everyone else awake and she felt Brodi stirring next to her. The man yawned and looked at her. 

"Good morning," he said softly. "It is morning, right?" 

"Would you two shut the fuck up?" Psymon grumbled, shifting so his back was to them and curling up. 

"Is he always this charming in the morning?" Mac asked, peaking around his seat at Zoe. 

"No, sometimes he's worse," she chuckled. 

Zoe laid on the bed, propped up with mulitple pillows, and watched tv. She didn't quite get the shows, since they were all in French, but it was better than nothing. She wondered where Psymon was at this hour anyway. A knock on the door snapped her thoughts back to the present. She scooted to the edge of the bed, then waddled to the door and opened it. She figured Psymon forgot his key, the bum, but saw Hiro standing there. Zoe frowned and slammed the door, then waddled back to her bed and climbed back on it. Hiro opened the door and walked in. Zoe pouted at him. 

"Not a nice way to greet an old friend, Zoe," he said calmly in his heavy accent. He walked over and sat on the bed. 

"Like I care. You're not exactly a friend, Hiro," Zoe replied. 

"How soon we discard our lovers," the man answered. He reached over and placed a hand on Zoe's belly. "And so soon after the seeds are planted." 

"Don't touch me," Zoed snarled, knocking his hand away. "She's not yours." 

"That's not what the blood tests say, Zoe," Hiro said. Zoe groaned softly, knowing it had been a mistake to tell the paternity of her baby to the officials. Damn that Tenkai. 

"She may be yours in blood, but I'm raising her with Psymon," the American woman said, though not as confident as she had wanted. Hiro smirked. 

"Little one, I am her father and I intend to raise her," he stated. "Without the help of your pet psycho." 

"Don't call him that," Zoe shouted, moving to slap Hiro, but he caught her hand effortlessly. 

"No games, Zoe. The baby is mine. You either give in and marry me, thus raising our family together, or you get rid of it," Hiro said coldly. Zoe just stared at him. 

"How could you even suggest that?" she asked. 

"I'll get what I want, one way or another," Hiro answered, getting up. He walked to the door. "Consider it." 

"Get bent, asshole," Zoe snapped. Hiro nodded and left. Zoe flomped over on her side, wrapping her arms protectively around her belly. No one's gonna hurt you, she thought to the baby. 

----  
And I don't want you to feel sorry for me  
You never gave us a chance to be  
----

Zoe rolled over hearing the door open. She was ready to give Hiro another piece of her mind when she saw it was a very frightened Psymon coming in. She watched him stumble around the room, then finally settle into a chair. She sat up, hearing soft crying, and clicked on the light. Psymon flinched at the sudden brightness, then hugged himself tighter, shaking all over. Zoe got up and walked over to him. He was a mess, crying, dischevled, and in need of a tissue. Zoe just sighed and began cleaning her boyfriend up. 

"Psymon, what happened?" Zoe asked, trying to get Psymon to look up at her so she could clean his face. She wiped the tears away and looked at him. He was still trembling. 

"It's nothing," Psymon finally managed to get out. 

"Did you have another episode?" she asked, concerned for the man's well-being. He coughed softly and nodded. "It's okay. You're going to be okay. Go get cleaned up and I'll get the bed ready." 

Psymon got up shakily, and went to the bathroom while Zoe straightened the bed. She's never seen Psymon so scared save for that night he'd first confessed his feelings. She didn't like him keeping things from her, particularly when it pertained to his schitzophrenia. He came out after awhile with just a towel around him and shuffled over to the bed and crawled in, throwing his towel on the nearest chair. 

"Psy, I just cleaned in here," Zoe complained. Psymon sheepishly got up and picked the towel up and took it back to the bathroom, then wandered back to bed. Zoe just smiled at him and snuggled close. She sighed softly. 

"Something wrong?" Psymon asked, stroking her hair. 

"You tell me, big guy," she answered. "What got you so spooked?" 

"I don't know," the Canadian replied. "Being in a new place maybe. Now, your turn." 

"Hiro came by," Zoe said. Psymon sighed. 

"What did he want?" he asked. 

"He informed me that I either marry him and raise our child together, or I should get rid of it," Zoe answered grimly. Psymon growled a bit. 

"Who the fuck does he think he is?" he snapped, pulling back from Zoe. "You told him to go to hell right?" 

"Yeah," Zoe replied, leaving it hanging. 

"But what?" Psymon asked looking at her. 

"But I don't want him to do something drastic that harm either of us or the baby," Zoe said, sighing. Psymon shook his head. 

"I can't believe you're considering any of it," he sighed. "I love you, Zo', but I know when to quit." 

"You really think I'm going to marry that jerk or let him force me into giveing my kid up?" Zoe shouted. "Fuck him!" 

"Funny, I thought that's what started this mess," Psymon replied bitterly. Zoe slapped him. 

"I can't believe you'd go that far, Psy," she yelled. 

"I wouldn't have to if you were faithful while I was away," he shouted back. Zoe reached over a clicked off the light. 

"Good night, Psy," she said coldly, and laid down. She heard him shuffle around, then felt him lay down, but he stayed far to his side of the bed. Zoe sighed, curling up. She really could use his arms around her right now, but she was so pissed at him. Why did he have to say that? 

----  
And I don't need you to be by my side  
To tell me that everything's alright  
----

Zoe rolled over and looked at Psymon's back. In the faint light she could see he was shaking again. Why wouldn't he just tell her what was wrong? What was he hiding? She was tired of him being so distant lately. She needed him for support and love, and it was like hitting a brick wall all the time now. 

----  
I just wanted you to tell me the truth  
You know I'd do that for you  
Why are you running away?  
----

Zoe reached out and touched Psymon's back. He pulled away from her and rudely murmured for her to leave him alone. Zoe curled up in a ball and watched him sleep. She sighed and closed her eyes, feeling very alone for the first time since they'd started seeing each other. 

----  
Why are you running away?  
----

Zoe puttered around the room while Psymon got ready to go to the race. She was still pissed at him about last night. She walked by the Canadian and he pulled her into a hug, snuggling her. Zoe wasn't really in a snuggly mood and just pulled away from him and went about cleaning the room. 

"Yeah, I love you, too," Psymon murmured, walking to the closet and looking for a shirt. 

"Psymon, I just straightened up in there," Zoe called, sounding rather annoyed, from the other side of the room. Psymon growled softly and looked at her, his hand still on the clothesrack. 

"Is it okay if I just get a god damned shirt to wear in the race? Is that okay?" Psymon snapped. Zoe threw the bottle she was holding at him. He ducked, hearing it break against the closet wall. He pulled the first shirt his hand caught hold of out and stormed out of the room. Zoe sat down on the bed as the door slammed shut. 

----  
Cause I did enough to show you that I  
Was willing to give and sacrifice  
----

Why did he have to be so damn stubborn? She'd done everything for him. Everything for their relationship. True he had given his share, but she felt like she was carrying all the weight now. Had the baby coming into their lives made him irritable somehow? She knew he was having a hard time dealing with it not being his, but would it make him leave? 

They'd come so far in their relationship, overcoming his mental illness and her fear of commitment. Now, when they needed each other the most, they were drifting apart. This wasn't how it was suppose to be. She wanted to go talk to Brodi, but he was in the same race as Psymon, and she'd dumped enough problems on him lately. She got up, thoughts of Psymon still on her mind, and headed out the door. 

----  
And I was the one who was lifting you up  
When you thought your life had had enough  
----

Zoe caught up with Elise not too far down the hall and fell into step with her as best she could with her pregno-belly. The two women walked side by side in silence till Elise stopped and looked at Zoe. She tilted her head looking down at her. 

"You're not racing, right?" she asked. Zoe shook her head. 

"Not with the little one," she replied, rubbing her belly. "I'm on maternity leave." 

"I wish I knew what it was like," Elise murmured. 

"Heavy," Zoe said after some thought. Elise laughed. The two let the silence fall over them once again as Zoe's thoughts turned inward to Psymon. She sighed, wishing they hadn't had their fight. For every step they took forward now, they took two back. 

----  
And when I get close, you turn away  
There's nothing that I can do or say  
----

"Zoe, can we talk?" Elise asked. Zoe blinked, coming out of her thoughts. 

"Yeah, what's on your mind?" Zoe asked the taller woman. 

"I think I know what Psymon's being so grouchy," she answered. 

"Well, I'd love to hear it," the smaller woman replied. Elise nodded. 

"Let's go sit down for a bit," the Canadian said, guiding Zoe to a table with some chairs. Once sitting, Elise was quiet for a while. Zoe studied the blonde woman, wondering what information she might have about Psymon. Elise sighed softly. "He was going to be a father once." 

"What?" Zoe asked, eyes widening. "You're kidding right?" 

"No," Elise answered, looking at Zoe. 

"So, what happened to the kid?" the punky American asked. Elise looked down at her hands resting on the tabled, biting her lip. 

"I aborted it," she whispered. Zoe just blinked. 

"Come again?" she replied. Elise looked up, past saddness in her eyes. Zoe shook her head. "But you two hate each other." 

"Yeah, we do now and that's why," Elise answered. "I lived in Vancouver for a bit when I was fourteen. I met this great guy that was two years older than me and we had a lot of fun together, and did some things we probably shouldn't have. I got pregnant and he started doing crazy stunts and getting people to place bets on him to try and get money together to pay for the baby. I kept asking him to stop, but he wouldn't. When I heard he planned to jump this cliff out at the Okanagan Valley, I told my parents about the pregnancy hoping they would give us the money so he'd stop doing stupid stunts. They didn't take it quite the way I expected and made me get an abortion. I really wish I'd fought harder for my rights to have my baby. I went to see Psymon the day he was suppose to do the jump and told him what my parents made me do. I tried to explain to him that he didn't have to do the stunts anymore, but all he wanted to know was if it had been a boy or a girl. When I told him I didn't know, he rode off down the hill towards the jump. I ran after him, yelling for him to stop. I stood on the cliff with everyone else and watched him land on the powerlines. 

"I'll never forget his screams, the sight of him thrashing among the powerlines after he took them down with him, or the smell of burning flesh," Elise finished, closing her eyes. "I never had the heart to tell him it was a boy." 

"Elise..." Zoe started, but just didn't know what to say. She placed a hand over Elise's and sighed. "I'm glad you told me. I wish he had, but now that I know, maybe I can help him understand that he's not losing this baby, too." 

----  
So now I need you to tell me the truth  
You know I'd do that for you  
----

Elise nodded and both women got up and went up to the racers' green room. They were met with sad and worried faces all around. The news was blaring over the tv about an avalanche of some sort and that some of the SSX league had been caught in it. Zoe ran to the tv and sat down in front of it, searching the vague footage they were showing for Psymon. She could see Brodi, and some of the other scheduled racers, but not Psymon. 

"Where is he?" she whispered. 

"Zoe, Psymon never showed up for the race. We sent JP in his place," Tenkai said, helping her up. Zoe pulled away from him. 

"What do you mean he never showed up? Where is he?" Zoe shouted. 

"We don't know. Please, calm down. If he wasn't in the race, then he wasn't in the avalanche. Where ever he is, he's safe," Moby said, putting an arm around Zoe. Zoe burst into tears. 

"But Brodi's still down there," she cried. "And the others." 

"We've already sent for help," Seeiah said, helping Moby move Zoe to the couch. Zoe just sat down and leaned against Moby, sniffling. 

"What about Psy?" she asked. 

"We've got people looking for him, too," Tenkai replied. Zoe sighed, how could she lose her lover and brother in the same day. Brodi would be okay, they had people on their way to get the boarders. It was Psymon's disappearance that worried her. 

----  
So why are you running away?  
Why are you running away?  
----

He couldn't have been that far ahead of her and Elise, even with their stop to talk. He had simply vanished sometime after he left their room and before arriving here. Where could he have possibly disappeared to in ten minutes? More over, did he leave because of her? Now she really was greating having the fight with him. All this and he had just up and left the league, left her. 

----  
Is it me, is it you  
Nothing that I can do  
To make you change your mind  
----

Zoe barely could believe she was thinking such thoughts, but, he had left. She was going to tell Hiro off and where he could stick his arrogance, but what would be the point if Psymon was gone? Had any of it mattered to him, the feral one of the bunch? Had she mattered? Would he come back? 

----  
Is it me, is it you  
Nothing that I can do  
Is it a waste of time?  
----

The thought occured to her then that Psymon may very well be in danger, too. Just because he hadn't shown up didn't mean something wasn't wrong. It really wasn't like Psymon to wander off without letting at least one person know. She got up and began pacing the length of the room. 

----  
Is it me, is it you  
Nothing that I can do  
To make you change your mind  
---- 

Zoe hugged Brodi as he stepped off the helicopter, then supported him as he limped along. She was glad to have him back and hoped he could help in the search for Psymon. No one had been able to find him yet. Everyone figured he was just gone. She had gotten tired of the fake-sympathy people had been handing her about how it was bound to happen soemtime that Psymon would just leave. 

----  
So why are you running away?  
Why are you running away?  
----

Zoe and Brodi followed the screams, with Raven and Moby in tow. They'd guessed Marisol had something to do with Psymon's disappearance and had followed her to this place. They hadn't been sure at first where he was or where Marisol had gone till they'd heard his hoarse screaming echoing through the building. Zoe's heart had sunk at the thought that he was be tortured by the bitch. 

The screams subsided as they reached the door blocking them from the source. Moby got Zoe out of the way as Brodi and Raven threw themselves against the door, knocking it in. The two men stepped forward, giving room for Moby and Zoe to follow at a safe distance. Zoe gasped, seeing Marisol's naked and beaten body laying on the floor. Not far away was the huddled wretch that most knew as Psymon. It was the worst she'd ever seen him: rocking gently, crying and babbling quietly to himself, involuntarily twitching every now and then...it broke Zoe's heart. She walked over and knelt before him, waving her hand in front of his face. It seemed to catch his attention, as he tried cautiously to reach for her hand, but Zoe pulled back, not knowing how he'd react. A soft whimper escaped the man's lips. 

Brodi walked over and began trying to get Psymon to stand up while Raven wrapped a blanket around him. They managed to get the man walking, but he didn't seem to know what was going on. He stumbled a bit and tumbled forward. Moby and Brodi caught him, and barely managed to keep from falling with him. Zoe leaned down and looked at Psymon. 

"I think the exhaustion got to him," she remarked. "We'd better get him to a hospital, he doesn't look all that well." 

"No, he doesn't," Brodi replied, hoisting him up and cradling Psymon in his arms. 

"What's that in his neck, mate?" Moby asked, pointing to the stainless steel ring piercing the flesh at the hollow of Psymon's throat. 

"I don't know, but probably not something he wanted to do, since it's a bit infected," Brodi answered. "Zoe, come with me and we'll take care of Psymon. You two make sure Marisol's not dead and then take her to the hospital. I don't think any of this is going to set well with the authorities of league officials." 

Zoe leaned against the wall, listening to Brodi and Psymon talking in the hospital room. She was still having a hard time dealing with the knowledge that Marisol and Psymon had waged some sort of private war between themselves. Psymon had raped Marisol and, in turn, she had raped him. The scars of this vendetta that had against each other were going to be hard to heal. 

Now Psymon babbled about some monster that was haunting him and that he saw it everywhere, even in the people he loved. It did make sense as to why he had been keeping his distance, among the other things bothering him. She wish she knew what to say to him to make him open up to her. 

----  
...What is it I've got to say...  
----

"Oh, god," Zoe heard Psymon moan at hearing the news of what he'd done to Marisol. "Is she going to be okay?" 

"Yeah, I think so. You're going to need to get help, Psymon," Brodi answered quietly. "You know Zoe and I will see you through this. The league's not happy, but they never are. I'll talk to them." 

"Thank you. I really messed up this time, eh? Tell her I'm sorry," Psymon replied. Zoe could hear the tears in his voice. She wanted to be in there with him, holding him, but Brodi had thought it best for her not to be near him right now since he was unstable. She wondered who he was apologizing to. 

"Get some rest, grasshopper," Brodi said. Zoe heard him walking towards the door. 

"I love you, Brodi," Psymon called. "I love you and Zoe both." 

"I love you, too, Psymon. I'll come back later," Brodi replied, then joined Zoe in the hall and hugged her. "He's going to be okay, Zoe. 

----  
So why are you running away?  
---- 

Zoe sat up in bed, watching Psymon sleeping fitfully next to her. The league had wanted him out, but thanks to Brodi and, a surprise, Marisol, the league decided to let him stay, provided he get counseling and start taking medication. Neither Marisol nor Psymon wanted to press charges against each other, although Zoe had a feeling their secret war was far from over. Besides, the league had enough bad press right now from Hiro being arrested for causing the explosions that started the avalanche. Well, it got him out of the way long enough for her, Brodi, and Psymon to figure out how to keep Hiro away from his daughter. 

A soft moan brought her back to reality and she looked down at Psymon, who and now wriggled closer and was snuggled against her like a child. Zoe stroked his hair gently, then chuckled when she noticed he was sucking his thumb. Poor guy had been through so much and still had a long way to go. The doctors had told them that he would try to consol himself with rather primitive means comfort, often reverting to child-like ways, but no worries, it was actually a healthy means of comforting himself. Zoe sighed. What was she going to do with him? She knew he'd eventually have to face his fears. 

----  
...To make you admit you're afraid...  
----

Zoe felt him convulse a bit in his sleep and held him closer. She felt Psymon relaxed with a soft sigh, still sucking his thumb. He had his other arm wrapped around her, snuggled up close and snoring softly against her shoulder. Zoe stroked Psymon's hair feeling further away from him than she had before. She still had fear that he was going to bolt the first chance he got. She just hoped she could make him find something worth staying for 

----  
Why are you running away?  
----  



	4. For You

{Author's Note: I'm back from my vacation and that means another chapter. Yay, me! This chapter deals with JP...so, please don't kill me. Keep an open mind when you read this chapter, and if you feel the need to complain or flame, you can find me on AIM or email me...the contact info is in my profile. I took a long time thinking about how to approach this chapter, and I'm pretty happy with the results. Yes, it's got a few heavy parts, but it's still only and R-rating. A thanks to Tater Chip Girl the help on keeping it at an R-rating. Go read her stuff, it's great! The song for this chapter is "For You" by Staind. I'm sure you'll agree that it fits JP pretty well.} 

[Kurumi's Note: JP! SQUEEEE!] 

(Akuma's Note: Kurumi, get outta Jynk's fic.) 

[Kurumi's Note: Sorry.] 

(Akuma's Note: You should be.) 

{Author's Note: Um..hello...I'd like to get on with the fic. _*watches the other two leave*_ Right, so...here it is....} 

----  
To my mother, to my father  
It's your son or it's your daughter  
----

"Hello, Mother," JP said into the phone. He paused for a bit, listening. "Yes, everything is fine. We all arrived safely. I'm letting them stay at the chateau with me. No, Mother, they'll behave themselves. Yes, even the animal. Everything's fine. Tell Father 'hello' for me. Good-bye."

JP sat on the sofa in the sitting room of his private wing. He leaned over and lay his head on Luther's chest, the only league-mate he'd allowed to stay in this wing, and sighed. Luther was the only person he really felt comfortable around. The man didn't care much about his money or his looks, he just liked hanging around with him. Luther looked down at JP and chuckled, putting an arm around him. 

"Feeling okay, JP?" the big man asked. JP nodded, sighing again. 

"I am feeling a little lonely today, _mon ami_," the Frenchman answered. "Nothing too serious." 

"You been talkin' to yer parents again, ain't ya?" Luther said gruffly. 

"They are not often kind to me, but they are still care," JP replied, trying to convince himself more than Luther. The bigger man just grunted, shifting his weight, and gave JP a small hug. 

"In the good ol' US of A, parents like that would be reported to the government," he said. JP shrugged. He really didn't want the lecture, he just wanted to be safe in his friend's arms. Wrapping his arms around Luther's broad torso, JP gave him a hug, nuzzling against the man's chest. Luther just laughed. "You're in a mood, ain't ya?" 

"I just need...more," JP said softly. 

"More?" Luther asked, raising an eyebrow. "Just how much more?" 

"Not that...not right now," JP said. "Right now, I just want to escape." 

----  
Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me?  
Should I turn this up for you?  
----

"What sort of escape were you thinking of?" Luther asked, arching an eyebrow. JP just shook his head, not wanting to talk about it at the moment. He shared a lot of things with Luther, but he could never bring himself to share emotions with him. He looked up at the bigger man and sighed. Life was much better since he'd met Luther. The younger man was a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on, and, under the cover of night, sometimes a lot more. JP just had no idea how to let Luther in on his more private thoughts. He could share his body with the man, but not his past or how his parents had treated him.

----  
I sit here locked inside my head  
Remembering everything you said  
----

The next morning found JP standing on a chair in the kitchen and shouting in French. He had hopped up there pretty quick when a small mouse skittered across the floor tiles. Mac was looking under the cabinets for it while Moby was laughing at JP. The Frenchman didn't even see Luther walk in. 

"Kill it!" JP cried in French, still clinging to the chair. 

"My _God_, JP, you are like a little woman," Luther boomed, walking over to the Frenchman. "It's a harmless little mousie. It can't hurt you." 

"I do not care. I do not want that vermin in my kitchen," JP answered, switching to English. 

"That's not a nice way to talk about Mac," Moby said. "I mean, he _is_ standing right here." 

"Hey!" Mac protested. JP crouched on the chair, still refusing to get off of it. Luther picked him up, much to his protests, and slung him over a broad shoulder and carried him out of the kitchen. 

"Put me down, oaf," JP yelped in French, squirming to be free of Luther's grasp. 

"Settle down, chumpy, before I drop you on your narrow French behind," Luther answered. He set JP down of a sofa once they entered the sitting room of the chateau in JP's private wing. Luther frown at him. "You keep screaming like a girl and people are going to start asking questions I don't think you're ready to answer." 

"So what of it? Let them ask. I'll tell them that it's none of their business," JP answered defiantly. He hated being scolded by Luther for his more effeminant behavior. He wasn't raised in the swamps of Alabama like Luther was, so he really didn't know that men were suppose to be rough. Come to think of it, he wasn't really raised much at all since his parents never had time for him. He'd always wondered how people could have children and not want them. 

"Jean-Paul, you listening?" Luther asked, waving a hand in front of the Frenchman's eyes. JP blinked, snapping back to reality and looked up at the American. 

"Oui, I hear you. I'll be more careful," he answered. Luther nodded and started to leave, but JP caught his hand. "Wait, _mon ami_, please." 

"Feeling lonely still?" Luther asked, plunking down next to the smaller man. JP leaned against him, nodding quietly, and cuddle against Luther's broad chest. The two men sat in silence. 

----  
This silence gets us nowhere!  
Gets us nowhere way too fast!  
----

JP rolled over in bed and put his arm around Luther. He was glad his private quarters were so far away from the rooms he'd given to the other boarders. It gave him more of a sense of privacy and helped him feel more secure in his secrets. He nuzzled Luther being answered with a soft grunt as the younger man put his arm around him. 

"Wha' you wan', JP?" Luther asked, sleepily. JP shifted a bit and looked at the American, poking him in the side. Luther growled. "I am gonna smother you with a pillow if you don' stop that." 

"_Désolé_," JP answered. "I just wanted to...um...see if you were awake." 

"Well, I am now," Luther said, sitting up a bit. JP smiled a bit at the man's short hair sticking out in unruly tufts while his long hair was a disheveled mane. He reached out and stroked the Southerner's hair. Luther looked at him. "You're in that mood, ain't ya?" 

"A little, _oui_," JP answered. Luther nodded and pulled him closer. JP kissed the other man's cheek, trailing smaller kisses down to his shoulder. Luther sighed softly, resting back against the headboard. JP snuggled against him, enjoying the warmth and security of Luther's bulk. The American chuckled softly, rubbing JP's back then pushing him back a bit. JP gave him a puzzled look, then smiled as Luther took one of his hands and guided it lower. JP gently stroked the other man's member, listening to him moan. He looked up, watching Luther's expression. The younger man soon pulled him back into an embrace. JP sighed, cuddling against the Southerner. He needed this warmth, this security, this...affection. He was so attention-starved it was ridiculous. His parents hadn't even come to see him compete, but he didn't care to think about that right now. All he needed now was Luther. 

"You've gone away again," Luther said softly, touching JP's cheek. JP blinked and looked up at him. He sat up and shrugged. 

"I was just thinking," he answered. Luther smirked. 

"I'm surprised that tiny brain of yours can handle such a task," he replied, ruffling the Frenchman's hair. 

"You keep insulting me and you won't get any," JP said, grinning. 

"Well, just keep in mind on who needs this more," the Southerner answered. JP's smile faded. Luther was right, he could live without the sex, but JP needed it. He needed to be assured someone cared about him. Luther touched his cheek again. "Hey, you alright?" 

"_Oui_," JP said and leaned over, flicking his tounge out against one of Luther's nipples, making the younger man gasp. He trailed kisses down the large man's chest and belly, working his way toward what he knew Luther wanted from him, and what he was all too happy to give. He tugged the covers back as Luther shifted under him, getting comfortable, and looked down at the other man's now erect organ. He leaned down and flicked his tounge against the head of Luther's penis, listening to the American's gasp and soft moan, then lowered his head, taking more of it into his mouth, and begin sucking gently. He felt Luther's hand stroking his hair and sucked harder, grunting softly as the younger man's grip tightened on his hair. Listening to the Southerner's breathing, he matched his pace with Luther's panting. JP could taste the younger man now and pulled back, not wanting him to climax too soon. 

"Stopping already?" Luther asked hoarsely. JP shook his head and leaned across the other man's board torso and began fishing through the drawer in the nightstand. He smiled a bit, feeling Luther caressing his back and buttocks while he pawed around in the drawer. Finally finding the small tube of lubricant, he sat back up and showed it to Luther. The younger man shook his head, laughing a bit. "Already?" 

"_Oui_. I'm really in the mood tonight, I guess. Could you do this for me?" JP asked, handing the tube over to Luther. The American just shook his head, chuckling, and opened the tube up then squirted a bit on his finger. JP laid back down across Luther's lap and relaxed, letting the other man loosen him up for what was coming next. He sighed with contentment and arched his back, pushing back against Luther. Enjoying the sensations, he moaned softly. Luther finally tugged on his arm a bit to let him know he was ready. JP sat up and smiled at the American, then moved to lay on his stomach, but Luther stopped him. 

"I've got a better idea. Why don't we try something that'll be a little more comfortable for us both?" the younger man asked. JP arched an eyebrow. 

"What do you propose?" he asked back. Luther settled against the pillows and took JP's hand, pulling him closer. 

"I think you should be on top," he answered. The Frenchman blinked. 

"I did not think you liked that," he replied. 

"No, not what you think. I'll still be inside. I just think you should be on top. I don't want to make you into a French pancake or something," Luther chuckled. JP condsidered this. Luther had never wanted him on top before. Usually they did this with him on his belly and Luther on top. He couldn't complain, though, Luther's weight was getting hard to bear and it might actually be easier if he was on top. Besides, they could see each other that way. Luther helped him get settled and then placed his hands down on the Frenchman's hips. "Just remember, I'm still in control in this." 

"_Oui_, Luther, you're always in control," JP answered. "It's just the way I like it." 

JP lay against Luther, listening to him snore. The sex had been better than usual this time around. The Frenchman guessed that Luther had been right about the position, it was more comfortable, but still gave Luther complete control over the situation. JP snuggled closer to the large man, feeling very safe and, more importantly, satisfied that someone cared about him. He looked up at Luther's face and sighed. He cared about the younger man, but he wasn't sure if it was just because of their arrangement, or because of something else. Who was he to place names to emotion anyway? Thanks to the neglect his parents had shown him, he had no concept of what love was suppose to be like, let alone what caring for someone truly felt like. Stretching an arm out over Luther, he lay his head on the younger man's chest. In the silence of the darkened room, JP's thoughts were on the feeling of safety and security that being with Luther gave him. 

----  
The silence is what kills me  
I need someone here to help me  
----

"I've told you, Father, I'm competing today and can't come down to the firm," JP said in the phone, frustrated. "I'll be out in a race. You should come out and see--what? Yes, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have presumed you'd have time. I understand. I like being in the league. It's what I want to do with my life. Father, please, don't be upset. I like sports. Why can't you let me live my life?" 

----  
But you don't know how to listen  
And let me make my decisions  
----

"I don't give a damn 'bout this being your home turf, froggy," Moby snarled. "I'll throw you off the ridge the next time you push me down." 

"You should watch where you are going, Brit, and I won't have to knock you down," JP yelled back. Moby lunged at him and the two began scuffling. Brodi stepped between them and a wild punch from Moby nearly glanced the older man on the jaw. Brodi turned and shoved Moby hard, nearly knocking him down, but still managed to keep a firm hold on JP. 

"Enough!" the surfer shouted. "I have had enough. Can't you people act like adults?" 

JP and Moby watch the older man walk away, unsure of how to respond to his outburst. The Frenchman figured that he wasn't the only one wound up and having problems today. He punched Moby lightly on the shoulder and walked off, letting his own thoughts surround him. 

The boarders stood and stared up the mountain at the flow of ice and snow coming toward them. JP had never seen a more beautiful and terrifying in all his life. He could feel Luther come up behind him and briefly touch his hand. JP could've kissed the man at that moment if he weren't so scared at the white death hurtling towards them. 

"Well, that can't be good," the Southerner said from behind him. 

"As opposed to good?" Marisol snapped. "Why are we standing here? Let's go!" 

"There was, well, it sound like and explosion or something," Raven said, looking at Brodi. "Marisol's right, we're all okay and we should go." 

"_Karasu_, I'm frightened," Kaori said, using her pet name for the odd young man. The boarders looked at one another, then back up the mountain. Reality was brought back to them by Brodi's urging. 

"Go, people! Get down the mountainas fast as you can!" the surfer shouted, pushing at them. The boarders headed down the mountain in the most important race of their lives. JP saw Raven pull Kaori off to the side and Brodi yank Marisol into cover. He looked at Luther and took his hand. The Southerner pulled him off to the side as the avalanche's flow rushed up to them, but wasn't fast enough. JP was swept back, losing his grip on Luther's hand. 

"No!" he heard Luther yell as the snow buried him and carried him down the mountain. JP knew then that he probably was going to die. He couldn't breath for all the snow and ice pushing against him, crushing the air from his lungs. All he wanted was to see Luther again, to tell him all the things he had always meant to, to tell him how much he valued the man's friendship. He was slammed against on of the rails on the course and felt the metal edge bite through his clothing and flesh. He tried to scream but had no breath to do it with. He began flailing against the avalanche's current, trying desperately to find the way up to get air. He wanted to live and would not die without a fight. His only driving force was the sound of Luther's voice from the previous night and how much he wanted to hear it again. 

----  
'cause I sit here locked inside my head  
Remembering everything you've said  
----

JP found the surface long enough to catch a ragged breath before the flow of ice and snow pulled him under again. He could feel the pressure of the avalanche around him and the warmth of his blood leaking from his wounds. Of all the ways to die, this was not exactly high on his list. He struggled against the avalanche again and felt something slam into him. It stopped his descent, but had also knocked the wind out of him. Must be one of the boulders on a side track from the course. The pain was overtaking him, blinding him...or maybe it was just unconsciousness. He felt the snow was halting it's movement and tried to keep awake, once again fighting to find the surface for air. He pushed a hand up and felt the bones in his forearm crack from the pressure of the snow pushing against it. He kept trying to move, feeling the avalanche's flow had finally stopped, but could give no more and let himself fall into the void of unconsciousness. 

----  
The silence gets us nowhere!  
Gets us nowhere too fast!  
----

JP had no idea how long he'd been out, but awoke to someone squeezing his exposed hand. He gave a weak squeeze back, wincing at the pain of the broken bones in his forearm. The snow around him was being dug at and he was starting to be able to hear voices now. The hand holding his hadn't let go, and somehow how JP knew that it was Luther holding onto him. He coughed, trying to get the snow out of his mouth so he could breath. Hands were moving around him more now, trying to get a hold of him and support him as he was dug out. He looked up and saw paramedics moving around them, and among them was Luther, holding his hand. 

"Easy with him, I think he's been banged up pretty bad. Couple of broken ribs, a pretty nasty gash on his back and multiple bruises, and definate signs of hypothermia. Get the stretcher over here," one of the paramedics said over his shoulder. 

"My arm hurts," JP whimpered softly. The paramedic checked it. 

"Get a splint, he's got fractured forearm," the man said. Another paramedic handed a splint to him and he proceeded to prepare his arm for the helicopter trip to the hospital. 

"Is he going to be okay?" Luther said in his Cajun French. JP smiled a bit at that. He always found the language laughable, hardly being French. He'd told Luther to not use it while here so the native French wouldn't make fun of him. However, right now, it sounded wonderful to hear that awful excuse for the French language. 

"He'll be just fine, sir," one one of the paramedics answered. They got JP on the stretcher, then loaded him onto the helicopter. Luther climbed in and sat on the bench next to the stretch, gently taking JP's hand again. JP sighed softly and looked at him. 

"I am glad you came back for me, my friend," JP said softly in French. 

"I couldn't just leave you out here to die, Jean-Paul. No one else in the league really talks to me. It'd get kinda lonely without you," Luther replied in his Cajun French, chuckling softly. JP smiled, tears rolling down his cheeks. Luther wiped them away gently. "No need for tears, everything's going to be okay now." 

"How could you be so stupid and let yourself get caught out there in an avalanche? You're completely worthless," JP's father shouted at him. 

"I can't believe I ever gave birth to such a selfish bastard. What were you trying to prove out there?" his mother yelled. 

"I'm sorry," JP whispered, his throat still sore from all the snow that had been crammed down it. He looked down, not able to meet his parents' eyes. He had nearly died, and yet they had managed to make him feel guilty. Now, he sorta wished he hadn't lived through it. 

----  
All your insults and your curses  
Make me feel like I'm not a person  
----

"Why couldn't you have listened to your father for once and not gone gallivanting off with your little friends. No, you had to be the brat you always are and have your own way," his mother said, forcing JP to look up at them. He winced at the pain, but didn't dare pull away. 

"I hope you've learned your lesson, son. You'll quit the league immediately and as soon as you're well, you'll start working at the firm. It's about time you learn the business," his father said. JP nodded solemnly. 

"I'm sorry I'm such a dissappointment," he answered softly. 

----  
And I feel like I am nothing  
But you made me so do something  
----

"You should be sorry. We've put up long enough with your silly games, now it's time for you to buckle down and become a man," his father replied. 

"You should settle down and get married. I don't want to be an old grandmother, you know," his mother said. "Having children will do you some good. It did wonders for your father and me." 

JP twitched. Having a child had helped them? Helped them do what, ignore him so they could live their lives secure in the knowledge they had an heir to the family fortune? JP had had enough of this self-loathing guilt trip his parents constantly laid on him. He looked up at his parents defiantly. 

"Fuck you," he said as loud and harsh as his sore throat would let him. To add insult to injury, he had said it in English, prefering to speak in the language of the league, the people who'd proven to be more of a family to him than his own self-centered parents. 

"What did you say?" his father said, rasing his voice. 

"Fuck you and your firm, _Pére_," Jp replied. "I've grown tired of your so-called concern for my well-being. You don't care about me, you never did. You only saw me to be just another peice of property you owned. I'm a human being, _Pére_, not a piece of furniture or a savings bond. I'm a person. Please, treat me like a son, like your child, instead of acting like I'm just another thing you own." 

----  
Because I'm fucked up because you are  
Need attention, attention you couldn't give  
----

"How dare you speak to your father that way," his mother shouted. 

"Oh, come off your delusioned self-importance, _Mére_," JP snapped. "You haven't loved me since the moment I was expelled from your womb." 

His mother struck him across the face, her ring leaving a deep cut in his cheek. JP was about to say more, but Luther walked in. The Frenchman looked away, embarrassed. He was sure the American had heard the arguments and now he had a bleeding cut across his cheek. Luther did not look happy. 

"I think you two should leave. You're upsetting him and it's not going to help him get better," the large man said. JP's mother was about to say something, but his father motioned for her to leave. He followed after, stopping at the door to look back at JP. 

"We won't forget what you've said here," he said. 

"Let me help you remember easier...fuck you and get out of my life," JP replied, sitting up a bit. He winced at the sharp pain from his ribs, but wouldn't dare let his father have the satisfaction of seeing him hurting. He looked at his father, feeling nothing but anger towards the man that had helped concieve him, but never bothered to raise him. The man glared back, then finally left. JP settled back against the hospital bed, letting the sobs overtake him now that his parents were gone. He felt Luther's hand in his and looked up at the man. "I'm free, Luth." 

"I hope the cost wasn't too high, Jean-Paul," Luther said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I, um, I'm glad you're okay." 

"Thanks to you. You saved my life, Luth. I'm in your debt," JP answered, smiling at the younger man. 

"I wanted to talk to you, if you feel up to it. I did a lot of thinking while we were looking for you and while you were in here," Luther replied softly. "Thinking that you were gone made me realize something that I'd been too afraid, too ashamed, or maybe just too stupid to admit to you, and myself, before." 

"You've decided to go on a diet?" JP asked, trying to keep the conversation light, fearing where it was going. 

"No, you turd, I care about you," the American answered. JP grinned playfully. 

"I know, Luth. I care about you, too," he said. Luther shook his head slightly. 

"I don't mean like how it's been, not that it hasn't been great," the younger man replied. "I was raised in a small, God-fearing town with strong moral values. It's kind of hard for me to say this, to finally admit that it's true. You're a good friend, JP, I care a lot about you. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you." 

"What is it, Luth?" the Frenchman asked softly, already guessing the answer. 

"You're a namby-pamby, sissy-freak, chumpy-boot...whimp," Luther answered, "but I love you. I'm not in love with you or anything gay like that, but I love you, JP." 

"Oh, Luth," JP sighed, leaning back into the pillows and closing his eyes. He was quiet for a bit, then looked up at the American. "Don't do this." 

"Do what? Finally admit to you, to myself, that I love you? You have any idea how hard it is for me to say that?" Luther asked. "I thought it's what you'd want, to know someone loves you." 

"You obviously read more into this than there was, Luther," JP replied. "Don't bring love into the arrangement. I go down on you and you fuck me. There is no love. I care about you, Luther, but we agreed that love was not part of the deal." 

----  
I sit here locked inside my head  
Remembering everything you've said  
----

"Yeah, maybe it wasn't, but thinking I was going to lose you really opened my eyes. I don't know why I feel this way. It's wrong and goes against everything I've been brought up on, but when I look at you, when I hold, I feel love for you. I'm sorry it's not returned and I'd hate for it to end our friendship," Luther said. JP shook his head. 

"We're still friends, very close friends. I just don't want love to get us mixed up in our arrangement," the Frenchman answered. "I'm sorry, _mon ami_." 

"It's...okay," Luther replied. "I'll live. We're still friends and that's what's important. I'll come back later and see you, okay?" 

"_Oui_, I'd like that," JP said, watching Luther get up. The younger man patted him gently one the should and turned to leave. JP bit his lip, then finally called out to Luther. "Wait. Don't go just yet." 

"What is it?" Luther asked, sitting back down on the bed. He leaned over JP, so the olderman wouldn't have to strain his voice. The Frenchman leaned up, putting his good arm around Luther's neck, and kissed him full on the mouth, deep and sensual. He broke the kiss after a few seconds and relaxed back on his pillows. Luther looked pleasantly surprised. "So, what was that for?" 

"I wanted to to thank you," JP answered. 

"For what?" the Southerner asked. 

"For whatever," JP laughed. "You'd better go before the nurses chase you away." 

"Alright. I'll see you later," Luther replied. JP nodded and watched him leave, suddenly aware of the deafening silence in the room. It was so quiet without Luther and yet, he didn't want to lead the young man on. He knew that neither he nor Luther were gay, but they had a strong bond for each other. JP enjoyed being intimate with the American. He felt safe with him. So why couldn't he love him as well, return the feelings that Luther had for him? The Frenchman waited for an answer, but only heard only silence. 

----  
This silence gets us nowhere!  
Gets us nowhere way too fast!  
---- 


	5. Mouthful of Poison

{Author's Note: First off, I'd like to thank you all for the support. It's been hard finding time to write now that I'm back in college. Secondly, I'd like to take a moment to clear things up from the last chapter. JP and Luther are not gay. I'm sorry if it came off that way. They're just really good friends that do stuff for each other. Anycrap, moving on. This is Marisol's chapter...ah, yes, the other half of the story. For her...Kittie's "Mouthful of Poison" seemed appropriate.}  
[Kurumi's Note: Damn, that Marisol!]  
(Akuma's Note: I must agree.)  
|Nova's Note: Can we beat her after we're done with JP's parents?|  
{Author's Note: Yes...yes, you can. Now, on with the show!}

----  
Blood spilled   
Heart-felt  
Head filled  
Play dead...  
----

Marisol sat in an antique Queen Anne chair, looking out the french windows at the moonlit night. She sipped some of her ameretto-flavored coffee and sighed. She didn't like these long, lonely nights anymore. Not since what Psymon had done to her. She couldn't blame him, not completely, anyway. The man was an animal that just needed to be tamed. Who better than herself to take on that task? Obviously the other women in the man's life, including the unfaithful Zoe, weren't able to control him. Marisol smiled to herself. She'd make Psymon hers, even if it killed him.

----  
Consider yourself now, my friend, Enemy number one  
----

Walking quickly down the hall to catch the bus to the race, Marisol heard scuffling. Stopping, she peered around the corner and saw Raven and Psymon fighting. She liked nothing more than seeing two handsome, well-built men beating on each other--perferably over her--but had no idea why Raven and Psymon would be at each other's throats. As far as she knew, the two got along. She flinched as Psymon was knocked unconscious by the younger man.

"That ought to keep you out of the race," Marisol heard Raven mutter softly before he walked off. She waited till the boy was gone and checked around, makingsure no one else had seen the fght, then went over and checked Psymon over. Figuring he was okay, but wouldn't be out for long, she pulled out her cell phone and quickly dialed a number.

"Yes?" a man answered on the other end. 

"The moment we've been waiting for is here," Marisol said quickly, excited that her plan could finally be put into motion. "Come to the chateau now, Sam, he's unconscious, but won't stay this way long." 

----  
You are bound and gagged, sacred circle broken trust  
----

Soon, Marisol was watching Sam restrain Psymon's wrists to the bed. He looked up at her, then went to the other room to prepare for the surgry she'd paid him to perform on her new pet. Marisol walked over to the still figure on the bed and looked down at him. She'd helped Sam take Psymon's shirt of earlier and was now appreciating the well-toned body before her. She leaned over and undid Psymon's pants, then began pulling them off. Sam came back in the room, saw what she was doing, and helped her by lifting Pysmon up a bit so she could easily pull his pants off. 

"He's not much for underwear is he?" Sam commented, easing Psymon back down. 

"Not really, no," Marisol answered, tossing the pants on the floor. She ran a hand appreciatively over the Canadian's nude body, then sighed. "I have a race to get to. Take care of him till I come get him. I'll wait till people think he's taken off before I come get him." "Thank you," Marisol said. She leaned down and kissed Psymon's forehead softly, then left. Her mind was far from being on the race, but rather on the delicious tortures she'd be putting Psymon through soon. Whatever it takes to break him, she thought, grinning like a Cheshire cat. She'd make Psymon pay for degrading her at Garibaldi. His screams would soon be music in her ears. 

----  
Now the plague has been cast in your town, acid tongue venom word  
----

"As opposed to good?" Marsiol snapped at Luther, watching the avalanche coming toward her and the other boarders. She'd never seen a more beautiful site, but it also paralyzed her with fear. 

"There was, well, it sound like and explosion or something," Raven said, looking at Brodi. "Marisol's right, we're all okay and we should go." 

"_Karasu_, I'm frightened," Kaori said, moving closer to the young man. The boarders looked at one another, then back up the mountain. Marisol felt herself trembling. If not for Brodi's shouting, none of them would've moved. 

"Go, people! Get down the mountainas fast as you can!" the surfer yelled, pushing at them. The boarders headed down the mountain in the most important race of their lives. Marisol caught a brief glimpse of Raven pulling Kaori off to the side towards cover. On the other side, Luther and JP were also heading for cover. She felt arms around her and realized it was Brodi pulling her behind a rock. He hugged her close to his chest as the flow of ice and snow hit the rock, dividing around it. Marisol screamed into the material of his shirt, having slipped down lower against his belly, scared for her life. She couldn't even hear her own voice over the roar of the avalanche. She felt Brodi cover her with his own body and then felt the pressure of the snow burying them. Clinging tightly to Brodi, she began to pray that she, that they all would come out of this alive. 

Moments passed and the pressure seemed to have eased up. Marisol moved a bit, testing to see if it was safe. There was no more resistance or pressure now. She wriggled around, then looked up. Brodi was still part way on top of her, his eyes closed. Looking around, she could see that the rock had protected them well enough, but she couldn't see anyone else. She hoped they were okay. 

Eventually, she wiggled free of the snow and Brodi's limp grasp, then sat beside him, trying to think of what to do. She check the surfer to see if he was alive. To her relief he was breathing, if only barely. She eased the man down and rubbed at his arms and chest, trying to warm him up. Soon he coughed and started moving. She helped him sit up. 

"How long was I out?" Brodi asked, rubbing his head. 

"I don't know, I was out as well," Marisol answered. Brodi reached over and pulled her closer, running her arms to help her stay warm. "I don't know where the others are." 

"It's okay, we'll find them," Brodi answered. He moved to get up and yelped, sitting back down. "Damn, I think I twisted my ankle." 

"Let me look," the Latin woman relpied. She took Brodi's shoe and sock off and pushed his pant leg up. Sure enough, his ankle was swollen pretty bad." Well, the bad news is you're right, it's twisted. The good news is all this snow ought to help keep the swelling down." 

"Lucky me," Brodi sighed, putting his sock and shoe back on. "Well, in the face of adversity, one must go forward. We can just stay here. We need to try and find the others, or at least be where we can be seen by rescue crews." 

"Yeah, let's get you up," Marisol answered, helping the man to stand up. It was a bit akward since he was so much taller than her. He got situated where she could support him, but not be too much of a burden for her. She helped him limp through the snow, back up the mountain. "I think I saw Raven pull Kaori that way." 

"Yeah, I saw that, too. I don't know where Luther and JP went. I hope they're alright," Brodi said softly. 

"I saw Luther and JP going off in that direction," Marisol said, pointing off to the distance, "but I don't know for sure where they are. I think we should start with Raven and Kaori. At least we know for sure which direction they went." 

"Agreed," the surfer said, nodding solemnly. The two trudged through the snow in the direction they'd seen the two younger boarders go. After some time, they stopped so Brodi could rest. Marisol sat in the snow, panting softly. The two sat in silence for a few moments, till Brodi spoke up. "What happened back at Garibaldi that you and Psymon are so upset with each other now?" 

----  
Why bother to lie?  
----

"We had an argument about him and Zoe. He got upset and hit me," Marisol said quietly. She saw no reason to hide the truth when it would only further the others' reasoning for Psymon's leaving. "Then he over-powered me and raped me." 

"He what?" Brodi asked in disbelief. Marisol hugged herself, trying to look the dispaired maiden. She knew she could easily play up to Brodi's concerns. 

"It happened so quickly, I didn't know how to stop him," she said, barely above a whisper. "I don't even know why he did it." 

"I'm sorry. I wish I knew what to say," Brodi replied. "Why didn't you report it?" 

"I didn't want there to be trouble in the league. Also, he threatened me," the Latina said. "Please don't tell anyone. I don't want him to be in trouble with the league or Zoe." 

"I'm not sure I can stay quiet, but I do know I'm going to have a long talk with him when and if we ever get back," Brodi said. He sighed and moved to get up. "Come on, we need to find the others." 

Marisol and Brodi stared at the young couple before them. They'd found the cave not too long ago and had headed towards it for shelter for the night, but upon walking in they got quite a surprise, not so much as the one Raven and Kaori got, though. The boy was already trying to get dressed again, as Kaori blushed furiously, covering herself with her and Raven's jackets. Brodi looked away, trying to give the kids some dignity while Marisol started laughing. 

"Shut-up," Raven snarled at her. Marisol's laughing ceased immediately. She stared at the boy, for in that moment, he was very much like Psymon. Psymon. Oh, why hadn't she seen it before? The boy was obviously related to the man somehow. He even looked like the lunatic. Marisol mentally filed that info away for later use. Brodi limped over to Kaori, who'd begun crying and yammering in Japanese, and started helping her get her clothes on and pull herself together. Marisol decided to make trouble and walked over to Raven. 

"So, I hope you had some protection, junior," she said, leaning against the cave wall. Raven growled, pulling his shirt on. 

"No, we didn't. It wasn't like we planned it or anything," he snapped in his thick British accent. Marisol just tsked. 

"You know her father's a big business man over in Japan. He probably won't take it kindly if you get Kaori pregnant. Hell, they prolly think the testicles of boys are a delicacy over there or something," Marisol snickered. 

"You're a bitch, you know that?" Raven grumbled, looking away. 

"Yeah," Marisol answered. "So, any idea where Luther and JP are, or did you even care?" 

"We looked, but couldn't find them. I thought I heard Luther shouting as the avalanche came down, but I couldn't see him," the boy answered, sounding sad. "Now that you two are here, maybe we could try looking for them again." 

"We should wait till morning," Brodi said from Kaori's side. "My ankle's injured and I need to rest. Besides, I want to have a look at Kaori's wrist, it looks a bit swollen." 

"I slipped coming in the cave and fell," Kaori said softly as Brodi looked her wrist over. 

"Just a sprain, nothing too bad," the surfer said. He looked at Raven. "What about you, everything okay?" 

"Yeah," the boy said walking over and plunking down next to Kaori. Marisol looked at the three of them, wondering how she got stuck with them. JP and Luther were probably much better off. Luther had good survival instincts and JP was familiar with the area. But, no, she was stuck with these losers.

The small group trudged silently through the snow, staying as close to each other as possible. Marisol and Raven helped Brodi limp about. They had spotted tracks in the show earlier and were now following them in the hopes that they would find Luther, JP, or, better yet, both. Marisol was tired of all of this. Even with Raven's help, Brodi was still rather heavy. Plus it was feezing. Of all the days to wear her Material Girl outfit. She looked at Kaori, who wasn't much better off in Santa's Helper outfit. At least the girl hadn't lost hope yet. 

"You think they'll be okay when we find them?" Kaori asked, looking back over her shoulder. 

"I'm sure they'll be fine," Brodi said reassuringly, forcing a smile. 

"I think I see something up ahead," Raven said, squinting at a shape in the distance. Marisol looked in the direction the boy was and saw a lumbering shape coming towards them. 

"That has to be Luther," she said. "Unless France has bears or something." 

"It is Luther," Raven chuckled, letting Brodi go. "I'll go see if he's okay. No reason to all run over. He may be disoriented and we don't want to spook him." 

Marisol nodded, helping Brodi sit. Kaori stood with them, all three of them watching the young man trot across the snow to the figure in the distance. Marisol leaned against Brodi, snuggling against the man's warmth. She'd rather be with Psymon, but right now, she wasn't being too picky. Raven soon led Luther over to them. The fat man looked rather bad. He sported bruised and cuts like the rest of them, but his worst injury seemed to be a few busted-out teeth. 

"You look like shit," Marisol commented. 

"And you look like a hooker," Luther retorted, frowning. 

"I was just telling Luther we hadn't seen JP either," Raven said. Marisol figured he just didn't want them fighting. It sunk in then what Raven had said. Luther hadn't seen JP, which meant none of them knew where he was. Marisol didn't love JP anymore, if she ever had, but she certainly felt concern for him now. 

"He's got to be out here somewhere," she said softly. She felt Brodi pat her shoulder. 

"We'll just have to find him," the surfer said. Marisol and Raven helped him back up, but Luther took over in helping him limp about. The group walked back in the direction Luther had come from. Raven stopped a looked down the mountain side. 

"What're you looking at?" Marisol asked, stopping next to him. 

"I don't know yet," the boy answered and began walking off. Marisol and the others fell into step behind him. She wondered about the young man. He was strange, like he didn't belong. It had not so much to do with him fitting in with the league as with fitting into life. He was always out of place. Doing odd things like what he was doing now didn't help either. Then there was his possible connection to Psymon. Marisol thought of ways she might exploit that while they walked. They soon came to a boulder partly sticking up from the snow. "Damn, I thought this might be him." 

"Can't fault you for trying," Brodi said. "Afterall, from a distance, it probably looked like a person." 

A small gasp was heard from Kaori and she took Raven's hand, pointing down, and yelped, "_Karasu_, what is that?" 

Everyone looked down and Marisol felt a chill up her spine, a small gasp escaping her own lips as well. A human hand and arm were partially poking up through the snow next to the rock. Silence overtook them, but no one had to say anything. They all knew who it was. Marisol turned away, taking Kaori aside now that she'd started crying. She could hear the men digging in the snow behind her. Overhead a soft chopping sound was heard. She looked up and saw paramedic helicopters. 

"Down here!" she yelled, waving her arms. The helicopter landed and the paramedics rushed to them. Some began checking them, while other helped dig JP out. Raven stepped out of the way, coming back to join Marisol and Kaori. One paramedic lead Brodi away to the helicopter to tend to his ankle. Luther held onto JP's hand. Marisol looked down, not sure what to do. 

"He's alive. He's still alive," Luther said excitedly. Marisol looked back up at the big man, who was still holding JP's hand, but also trying to help dig himout. The paramedics soon eased the young Frenchman up out of the snow. JP had always been short, in Marisol's opinion, but now he just seemed like a small ragdoll. She'd never seen him so helpless. The paramedics checked him over, talking to each other in French. One shouted back over his shoulder to the others at the helicopter. JP then murmured something softly to them, and the paramedic closest to him began looking over his arm, then spoke called to the others at the helicopter. Luther asked something in French and another paramedic replied. Marisol was surprised, she didn't think the oaf knew any other language besides bad English. She felt a blanket being put around her and looked back to see Raven. 

"_Gracias_," the Latina said, nodding to the boy. He gave a small smile, and rubbed her arms a bit, trying to warm her up. She was a little surprised by the action. "Why are you being so nice to me now?" 

"Because you're not the one I should be mad at," the young man answered simply. 

"Where's Kaori? Your little girl's gonna get jealous," Marisol replied. 

"They took her to the helicopter to look at her wrist. Come on, we should go, too. I'm sure you're freezing in that outfit," Raven said softly. He led her to the helicopter and helped her on, then climbed in and sat with Kaori. Marisol looked around at the boarders. Brodi had his foot propped up, while Luther was over by the stretcher JP was on. The two were talking softly in French. Raven had an arm around Kaori, both curled up and asleep on their bench. Marisol stretched, yawning a bit. Sleep sounds like a good idea, she thought as she closed her eyes. In the back of her mind, she wondered where their snowboards were. 

----  
Leave the lamp behind  
----

----  
Your mouth full of (lead and lies)  
----

Marisol walked in and saw Sam was holding up a half of a sandwich for Psymon to eat. She watched them for a bit, letting her eyes drift over Psymon's nude body. She smiled, seeing the ring pierced through the flesh at the hollow of his throat. Strolling over, she laughed at Psymon as he gagged a bit on his mouthful of sandwich and tried to sit up. She reached down and stroked the area around the Madison piercing, then ran a finger along the large stainless steel ring. 

"How are you feeling, Psy?" she asked. 

"Like I'm going to give you a repeat of Garibaldi and much more," Psymon answered around a mouthful of sandwich. Marisol just smirked. 

"Did we forget that I'm in control now?" she replied, toying with the madison piercing. Psymon grunted softly at the slight pain. She looked at Sam. "You can go now. Your payment has already been transfered, plus extra for taking care of him." 

"Thank you, miss," the man said, getting up. 

"Hey, Sam, great hanging with you," Psymon called. "And I really think you should invest in those stocks, man. Cordless toasters sound like the wave of the future." 

"Thanks," the man chuckled and left. 

----  
Don't walk in to fire   
----

"Damn it, there went my lunch," Psymon complained. Marisol shook her head and picked up the other half of the sandwich for him to eat, but he looked away. "I'd rather starve." 

"Then you just might," Marisol snapped, tossing the sandwich back on the plate. 

"How long have I been here?" he asked, looking back at her. 

"About three days," the woman answered. Psymon stared at her. 

"Three days? Three fucking days? And you didn't think anyone would notice?" Psymon shouted, pulling at his restraints. Marisol slapped him hard. 

----  
You might find that you'll get burned  
----

"Shut the fuck up," she screamed. "I just got out of an avalanche." 

"Avalanche?" Psymon asked, the words sinking in. "Sweet mercy mayhem, was anyone hurt? Is Brodi okay?" 

"Yes, he's fine. He saved my life," Marisol answered. "JP got pretty banged up, but he's going to be okay." 

"Marisol, please let me go," Psymon requested softly. The Latin woman shook her head then laid down, placing her head on Psymon's chest and began crying. She didn't now why she wanted comfort from this man, seeing as how he wasn't more in her mind than an animal. She lay there for awhile, sniffling, till Psymon spoke up again. "Marisol, are you okay?" 

"Just fine, my pet," she answered, hugging him around the waist. She tilted her head and looked up at him. "Sam did a good job on the piercing." 

"Um, yeah, I guess so," Psymon answered. "Why on earth would you make me get this?" 

----  
What a find, dirty face  
----

"I need something to attach the leash to, my little dog," she answered. "And what better collar than you're own neck." 

"Okay, now that's just a little creepy. Marisol, please, you can't keep me here. I need to go see Brodi, to see if he's okay," the Canadian begged. Marisol sat up, tracing the tattoo across his chest. She looked at him and grinned wickedly. Psymon just blinked. The woman got up, pulling the covers back, and admired him for a moment, then began undressing herself. Psymon began squirming about. Marisol reached down and gave a sharp tug on Psymon's Prince Albert piercing, remembering that it gave him an involuntary erection. She smiled at the man's sharp cry of pain, then climbed on top of him, straddling his hips and lowering herself onto him. Psymon gasped involuntarily at the sensation of entering her. He looked up at her, struggling against his restraints again. "Don't do this, Marisol, please." 

----  
Guilt at last, is this a lesson that's learned?  
----

"Those words sound familiar, lover," the woman laughed bitterly and begun moving against him. Psymon thrashed about, desperate to free himself now. Marisol just laughed. "That's right, just like that. That feels good, Psy." 

Psymon stopped moving, laying perfectly still and looked away. Marisol was a bit disappointed he didn't want to play anymore. Afterall, he'd had so much fun at Garibaldi. Psymon grinned and looked back at Marisol, and began moving his hips just a bit making the Latina smile. Perhaps he was enjoying this afterall. She closed her eyes rocking faster, losing herself to the passion and the ecstasy. Psymon bucked under her, making her cry out in pleasure, scratching her nails gently down his chest and stomach. 

----  
Can you hear your own blood in your veins, calling out your demise?  
----

"Fuck!" Psymon screamed, convulsing under her, his orgasm causing him to release inside her. Marisol quickened her pace, her own climax nearing. She laughed and leaned close, licking his chest and belly. Psymon cried out again, spooking Marisol with the fear in his voice. She pulled back, still moving, and looked at him in puzzlement. Psymon kept screaming, despite the Marisol's best efforts to quiet him. He pulled his hand free of his restraints, surprising Marisol, and punched as hard as he could against her temple, knocking her off of him. The Latina landed on the floor next to the bed, slightly dazed. When she was finally able to come to her sense and start moving again, Psymon tackled her. He began hitting her, ignoring her screams. She fought against him but he easily over-powered her, pummeling her again and again. Her world finally went black, the dull thuds of his fists seeming miles away now. 

----  
Silence, a word to the wise...  
----

Marisol woke up, not recognizing the ceiling over her. She looked around a bit, wondering where she was. Eventually she realized she was in a hospital and she hurt. Her face hurt, her body hurt, every part of her hurt. There wasn't a place that Psymon had neglected to hit her on. She couldn't understand what had happened to him in that room, but he was definately sinking further into his insanity. All the more reason to tame the bastard, she thought. 

"Marisol Diez Delgado?" a voice with a thick French accent asked at the door. Marisol turned her head and saw a man standing there. "I'm Inspector Verte and I'd like to ask you a few questions." 

"Sure, go ahead," she croaked, her throat and mouth both sore from the earlier abuse. The man walked in and took out a notepad and pencil. 

"We'd like to know first if you'd like to press charges against Monsieur Stark," the inspector said, ready to take notes. 

"What for?" Marisol asked. 

"For his unprovoked battery of you. Also, it appears that he raped you as well," the man answered. Marisol smirked painfully. 

"I raped him, but only as revenge for his previous rape of me. As for the battery, I think he was pretty provoked," she replied bitterly. Inspector Verte blinked. 

"What exactly happened in that room?" he asked. 

"I had him tied down and while I was in the race, an associate of mine performed surgery on him to give him that delicious piercing he now sports in his throat. I came back after being examined at the hospital for possible frostbite and hypothermia and attempted to have sex with him while he was restrained. It must've set off his schitzophrenia and he over-powered me, beating me. I don't remember anything after that," the Latina said. 

"My partner talked to him earlier and he does support your story a bit. He doesn't want to press charges against you for the rape," the inspector replied. 

"I won't hold it against him for beating me, either," Marisol said. "But, tell me, is he alright?" 

"He's fine as far as I know. He was rather coherent when he was questioned, but seemed a bit disoriented. There's nothing we can do if neither of you press charges. Also, the SSX League has also stated they will not press charges. I'd take this time to really think about the oppurtunity your league is giving you," the inspector said, leaving. Marisol scoffed. She'd think about it, alright...think about how to keep their little war more secret. 

----  
Your mouth full of (lead and lies)  
----

Marisol walked off the plane into the terminal. She could almost smell the salt air of the ocean and couldn't wait to be flying down the Aloha Ice Jam course. Elysium was behind her now, but not forgotten. She glanced over at Psymon, who was standing near Brodi, and smirked. She'd wait till he was alone now that Zoe wasn't here. The woman had been told to go to London to wait for the league to get to the Pipedream course. Marisol couldn't be happier. The only obstacle was Brodi, now. 

She started to walk toward Seeiah when Kaori zipped past her. She looked at the girl and felt a little sorry for her. Raven had disappeared not long after the incident between her and Psymon. She, like everyone, wondered where he'd gotten off to. Well, it was Kaori's problem anyway. He main concern was getting even with Psymon for the beating he'd given her. At that moment, the Canadian glanced back at her, fear in his eyes. She started a bit, thinking he was looking at her, but then realized he had that expression. The one he got when he was seeing his schitzophrenic visions. Marisol smirked again. 

----  
I can't hear you scream  
----

Marisol laid back on her bed in the motel room assigned to her and Seeiah. She closed her eyes, letting ideas and plans for her revenge on Psymon dance through her mind. She was truly going to enjoy breaking that man. 

----  
Drowning so it seems your mouth is full of poison...  
---- 


	6. Pretty Girl

{Author's Note: Home stretch. I'm bringing _Songs_ close to it's final chapter. I'm glad everyone's enjoying this fic. It wasn't an easy one to write, telling the same story over from different PoVs. I wish I could've gotten everyone, but hopefully I got the main key characters. Anycrap, for Kaori, I picked Sugarcult's "Pretty Girl".}  
[Kurumi's Note: Popcorn's ready.]  
{Author's Note: Okay. _*sits with the rest of the peanut gallery*_} 

Kaori was yanked out of the way as the avalanche went crashing by. She landed on Raven, wincing at the pain in her wrist. Clinging to him, she screamed as the roar of snow and ice rushed past. She kept screaming for several seconds after the avalanche had ended, barely aware that Raven was stroking her hair and trying to sooth her. Eventually, she calmed down and looked up at him, still laying on top of him. 

"Are we safe now?" she asked quietly. 

"Aye, bird," Raven said, sitting up. He kept an arm around her, helping her sit up as well. He looked around and sighed, frowning. "I don't see the others." 

"Where are they?" Kaori asked, looking around now as well, but all she saw was white on white. She looked back up at Raven, starting to shiver. "It's getting cold." 

"Let's try to find the others, okay?" the young man said, getting up, then helping her up. They started walking back in the direction of the course's main run. Kaori took Raven's hand, scared that she'd loose him out here, too. After much searching, there was still no sign of the others. Raven stopped and looked at the sky. "Sun's going down. It's going to be a lot colder. We need to find some shelter or we're going to freeze to death." 

"Okay, Raven," Kaori said, teeth chattering. The wandered about, finally finding a cave. Raven checked it out and, after making sure it was safe, led Kaori in. She followed him to the back of the cave, where it was a bit warmer. He motioned for her to sit down, then went back outside. Kaori huddled in her jacket, trying not to cry. Soon the young man came back with wood and set it down on the cave's floor, then surrounded it with rocks. Kaori watched as he took out a lighter and a pack of cigarettes. He took a few cigarettes out of the pack and put them in his pocket, then shoved the rest, box and all, under the wood and lit it, putting leaves and pine needles down now as well. 

"I hope this works. Sacrificing me last pack of cigarettes, afterall," Raven murmured softly. After a moment, the wood caught and the fire was nicely flickering. Raven sat back with Kaori. She snuggled against him, liking his warmth and the tight muscles under his shirt. He put his arm around her, sighing. Kaori looked up at him. 

"Do you think we'll be found?" she asked. 

"Eventually," he answered. He looked down at her, the firelight making his pale eyes seem to glow unnaturally. "Kaori, you like me, eh?" 

"Of course, Raven," the Japanese girl replied, caught off guard by his question. Why would he think she didn't like him? She lo--wait. Kaori stopped herself mid-thought. She looked up at Raven again, studying his features in the firelight. He was handsome in classical way with his somewhat Roman features. His reddish-brown hair hung down in his eyes, and down his back in a long ponytail. The light from the flames reflected softly from on his facial piercings. Kaori sighed. Yes, it was true. She had fallen in love with the young man. She pushed herself up and kissed him, enjoying the feel of his lip ring. 

The kiss had taken the boy by surprise, but he soon began kissing her back, holding her close to him. Kaori felt safe and warm. Her previous fears had melted away with Raven's affections. She felt him shift under her, laying down and taking her with him. She now lay on top of him, straddling his hips a bit. Kaori blushed and sat up, abruptly breaking the kiss. Raven blinked, looking up at her. 

"Sorry, Raven," Kaori said, getting off of him. She sat back against the cave's wall. Raven sat up, sighing. 

"Too fast, bird?" he asked softly. Kaori nodded. Raven just nodded back and got up. "I'll be right back. I want to make sure we'll have enough wood for this fire." 

"Okay," Kaori answered quietly, watching him leave. Why had she pulled away from him? She did love him, afterall, but feeling his...no, that had been to much. She wasn't sure she was ready for more than kissing. She'd never kissed a boy before Raven and now she was considering doing more? Kaori shook her head. She needed to control herself more. What would her father think? 

"Kaori?" Raven called, walking back in with an armload of branches. He set them aside and sat next to her, putting an arm around her. "I think we need to talk about some stuff." 

"Talk?" Kaori asked, afraid that he was upset she'd not done more just now. Raven nodded. 

"Yeah. I did some thinking while I was outside and I'm not sure if we'll get out of this okay. Whoever set the explosions off I heard before the avalanche could very well be out there setting more off. If we do get out of this," Raven sighed. "I don't know if I'll be able to stay." 

----  
Pretty girl is suffering  
While he confesses everything  
----

"What are you talking about, Raven?" Kaori asked, pulling back and looking up at him. 

"I'm saying I'm not sure I can stay. I'm not from here," Raven answered. 

"None of us are from here, except JP," she replied. Raven shook his head. 

"That's not what I meant. You told me once I felt magical, like I was out of place. Well, I am. I'm not suppose to be in this time, but I am," he answered. Kaori raised an eyebrow, not sure what to think of this. 

"What exactly are you telling me?" she asked. 

"You'll never believe me, but I'm from the future. Don't laugh, please. I can't exactly prove it to you, but I knew about the avalanche, I just didn't expect that you'd be in it. Marisol was suppose to be the one who set it off, but with her in the race, I doubt she'd have hired people to set it off with her in it. so, now I don't know who did it. I was suppose to come back and protect me mother and father, to make sure me future never happened. I fucked up, but at least me father's safe. I made sure of that," Raven said, lowering his head. "I know you don't believe me, but I had to tell you. I didn't want to leave and have you thinking it was your fault or anything. I love you. I have since before I met you." 

"Before? I don't understand," Kaori replied. "And what do you mean by protecting your mother and father?" 

"I read your file. It was part of me briefing for preperation in being sent back. In me time, or rather..me timeline, all extreme sports are banned and the governments allowed themselves to be taken over by censors. Through corruption and deciet, the censorship organizations took over and control the world. It's a very dangerous place. A person has to watch what they say, what they wear...even what they look like. We aren't allowed to love. Relationships and marriages are arranged by the government. Children are taken from their parents for programming at an ealry age. A few have started a rebellion, but the government is slowly crushing them," Raven explained. 

"And your parents?" Kaori asked. 

"They were the catylist. Me father died before I was born, killed in a man-made avalanche on this course. Me mother died later in London not long after I was born. The censors took advantage of these tragedies and used them to prove how out of control society had become. Someone in the league was the cause of their deaths. That person is now a pretty high-ranking official in the government. The rest of the league scattered. Some gave up the fight and joined the goverment. Some started the rebellion. A few, like yourself, ran and were never heard from again. I was rasied by Brodi and the others that tried to keep the CenCore Legion from taking over," Raven answered, wiping his eyes. "Sadly, a lot of them were killed. There's not many left. It sort of hurts to see you all now, knowing what's to happen." 

----  
Pretty soon she'll figure out  
What his intentions were about  
----

"Raven, the avalanche still happened," Kaori said softly, moving closer to him. She hugged him tightly, part of her wanting to believe him and part of her hoping he was just making it up. She felt his arms around her and looked up at him. "What about your parents? Who were they?" 

"I suppose it's alright to tell you now, bird, seeing as how we might not get out of this. Psymon and Zoe are me parents. Only, in this timeline, they're having a little girl...or at least, Zoe is. Psymon's not the baby's father, Hiro is in this existence. I don't really know anything about him," Raven said. Kaori shifted about, trying to get warmer. She'd almost forgotten how cold she was, thanks to his talking. She was curious about this future he believed in. 

"What about me? You said I disappear, right?" she asked. Raven nodded. 

"Yeah, you left when I was still little, before Brodi and the others went into hiding. As far as I know, you were never found. When I was fourteen, some of the CenCore soldiers hit our base. That was me first true exposure to what the world had become. I got away with Moby, JP, and Seeiah. I asked about the others, but never really got a straight answer other than Luther had saved JP and Brodi had been trying to erase the computers after Seeiah got the files off," Raven sighed. "I should stop telling you all of this. It just makes me seem crazy and it's depressing you." 

"It's okay. I just don't know how it could be real," Kaori answered. Raven moved, taking off his jacket and shirt. Kaori just stared. She'd never seen a man shirtless in person before, and Raven's body was very well-toned. 

"Here, bird," Raven said, laying Kaori's hand on his shoulder. "Feel that? That's a communicator. Down here, these are implants. They make me a little stronger and faster than the average person." 

"What about the steel plates you told me about?" Kaori asked, her hand still on the young man's stomach. Raven held his left arm up and flexed his muscles. Two eight-inch steel spikes sprung out of the back of his wrist, laying against his hand. Kaori stared at the weapons. "You have these in both arms?" 

"No, I'm left handed, so I only had them put there. I'm not fond of them, they make me feel a bit like a comic book hero or something, but they get the job done," Raven answered, letting Kaori touch the spikes. 

"Do they hurt?" the Japanese girl asked. Raven shook his head. She laid a hand on his other arm. "What about here?" 

"That's more of a computer," the young man said, turning his arm over so she could see. He let the spike of his left arm slide back into hiding, then pulled a leather strap-like braclet bacl from his right wrist, showing Kaori the ports in his wrist. "I just pull these wires out and link up to computers. Hurts like a bitch, too." 

"Why do you have these?" Kaori asked, suddenly feeling afraid of the man before her. She knew his story had to have some truth to it. Nothing like what he has as implants could possibly exist, and yet, she'd seen them and touched them. Raven set his jacket over her bare legs, then laid down, getting into a comfortable position. 

"Some of it's useful in my time, some I had done before coming here. I didn't know what I'd expect here," he said. Kaori nodded. 

"Why'd you decide to come back? Anyone could've done it, right?" she asked. 

"Yeah, we have a lot of better-trained people, I suppose...but this was personal. I wanted to know me parents and the people I'd grown up hearing about. I wanted to meet you. I've read your file so many times, I've memorized it. You were...are so beautiful," Raven said softly. "I can understand if I've completely ruined my chances of this being a relationship." 

"Why would you think that? You're still the same person I fell in lo--" Kaori caught herself. Raven looked at her. Kaori blushed furiously. She knew she couldn't deny it anymore. If he was right, he'd be leaving her soon, if they even lived through this. She looked up at him, not afraid of the eerie glow the firelight cast in his pale eyes. "I love you, Raven." 

"I love you, too, Kaori," Raven said, sounding relieved. He pulled her closer. Kaori enjoyed being in his arms. His skin was soft, despite the implants under it, and had a musky sweet smell to it. She leaned up and kissed him, feeling it was returned. This time she didn't stop him when he pulled her down with him to the floor of the cave. She felt his arms holding her protectively, one hand tangle in her now unbound hair and the other hand down on her rear.Pullin back just a bit, she began removing her own jacket, suddenly very aware of the heat their bodies were generating. 

----  
That's what you get for falling again  
You can never get 'em out of your head  
----

It wasn't long before they were both nude, exploring each other's bodies. Kaori was fascinated with Raven's lean, muscular form. Men just didn't look like him in Japan. She gasped softly at his touch, his kisses, and his gentle caresses. She lay back, letting him take charge since she'd never done anything like this before. She watched his hands moved down her body, then looked up at him. She could see the emotion and caring in his eyes. Hooking an arm around his neck, she pulled him down, kissing him passionately. She felt he shifted his weight on top of her, and she let him move into a more comfortable postion, both excited and nervous about what she knew would be happening soon. 

"Raven?" she whispered against his cheek. She heard a soft murmur of acknowledgement from him. "I've never done this before." 

"It's alright, lovely," Raven said softly, leaning up to look down at her, firelight dancing across his features. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to." 

"I want to," Kaori replied. "I'm just a little nervous." 

"I'll be gentle, bird," the young man answered, shifting his weight. "But you should tell me now if you don't want to do this. I don't want you to regret anything." 

Kaori looked up at him, gazing into his beautiful and strange blue eyes. His love shown through brighter than the fire. She wasn't sure what would happen later, but for now, it's was just the two of them sharing a moment. She smiled warmly at him and replied, "The only thing I'd regret is if I don't do this before you leave." 

----  
It's the way  
That he makes you feel  
It's the way  
That he kisses you  
It's the way  
That he makes you fall in love  
----

Raven nodded, then lowered himself down, entering her slowly. Kaori gasped, squeezing her eyes shut. She thought back to her discussion with Psymon about sex. He had told her it would hurt, but she had no idea. Raven was bigger than she'd expected, but he had stayed true to his word and was gentle with her. She relaxed, enjoying the feel of his skin against her and the way he felt inside her. Trailing kisses along his shoulder, she moaned softly. Suddenly she felt Raven's body go rigid. She thought he was climaxing already till she opened her eyes and looked up at him. He was looking towards the mouth of the cave. Kaori followed his gaze and saw Brodi and Marisol standing there staring back. She sat up quickly, hitting her head against his jaw, then laid back with a soft curse. Raven got up, pulling out her so quickly it hurt, and started getting dressed. Kaori frantically covered herself her her and Raven's jackets, starting to cry. How had something so beautiful able to be ruined so easily? She silently fumed at Marisol's laughter. 

"Shut up," she heard Raven yell. Brodi soon sat down next to her, trying to comfort her. She pulled her shirt on, trying to regain some decency. 

"Did he hurt you?" Brodi asked softly in Japanese. Kaori shook her head. She could hear Raven and Marisol arguing as she got dressed. Brodi finally got up to give her time by herself to get her clothes on and to go stop the other two from fighting. "We should wait till morning. My ankle's injured and I need to rest. Besides, I want to have a look at Kaori's wrist, it looks a bit swollen." 

"I slipped coming in the cave and fell," Kaori said softly as Brodi looked her wrist over. 

"Just a sprain, nothing too bad," the surfer said. He looked at Raven. "What about you, everything okay?" 

"Yeah," the boy said walking over and plunking down next to Kaori. She leaned against his chest, snuggling against the warmth and safety of his embrace. She wondered idly if she should tell the others what he'd told her about where he was really from. 

----  
She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego  
----

Kaori wondered if she could trust him. She still loved him, enough to let him be her first, but she wondered just how much truth there was to his story. She believed him, Buddha help her, when he said that he was from the future. His implants couldn't possibly be something that the present technology could do. She looked up at him, sighing that he was asleep now. The other two were asleep now as well. Relaxing, she snuggled against him, enjoying his warmth. Still, it nagged at the back of her mind that Raven was still hiding something. 

----  
And her killer instinct tells her to beware of evil men  
----

Raven pulled her against him on the helicopter, letting her cuddle on the way back to the lodge, back to civilization. Kaori huddled against him, still cold. The past few days had been long and cold, finally ending with the discovery of a near-dead JP and being rescued. She looked over at JP and Luther. The two seemed a lot closer now. Poor JP had gone through so much, he was lucky to have a friend like Luther looking out for him. She yawned, and snuggled against Raven, letting the sleep over take her. 

Kaori awoke in the hospital. It took her a moment to remmeber she'd been admitted for hypothermia and exposure. They'd also taken care of her wrist while they were at it. She sat up and looked around. She suddenly wished Raven was with her to comfort her. It occured to her that she no longer liked being alone. She needed him around her now to feel whole. 

----  
And that's what you get for falling again  
You can never get 'em out of your head  
----

Kaori sighed, laying back down. She missed Raven already, even though she knew he was probably somewhere in the hospital being treated as well. She rolled onto her side, curling into a ball. Her main concern was if he left. What would she do then? 

----  
And that's what you get for falling again  
You can never get 'em out of your head  
----

"Alright, listen up, you primative screwheads," Tenkai barked. "I want no, absolutely no repeats of the crap you all were pulling at Elysium. Those kind of antics are over. If we don't shape up, the censors will come in and shut us down. Do I make myself clear?" 

The boarders nodded. Kaori was only partly paying attention. Her mind was wondering off on the mystery of Raven's disappearance. She's asked everyone, but no one seemed to know where he'd gone. Her eyes snapped forward at the mention of the censors. Raven had been telling the truth, she realized. He'd probably left back to his own time, but she could continue what he was doing here and try to make sure the censors didn't get their way. She looked out the window of the meeting room at the huge glacier that was being prepared for the Aloha Ice Jam course. She wished Raven could be here to board it with her. 

----  
It's the way  
That he makes you feel  
It's the way  
That he kisses you  
It's the way  
That he makes you fall in love  
----

"We're not gonna take it, No! We ain't gonna take it. We're not gonna take it anymore," Psymon suddenly belted out from the back of the room. Kaori looked at him, along with everyone else. The lunatic was jamming along to whatever he was listening to on his head phones. "We've got the right to choose it, there ain't not wa--" 

"Stark!" Tenkai shouted, making Psymon sit up. "I swear to God and Cthulhu, I will throw you out of this league." 

"Bif Naked's cover of that song is much better," Moby whispered to Psymon. 

"Such blasphemy against Twisted Sister," Psymon replied in mock startlement. He smiled, then. "Yeah, Zoe tells me that all the time." 

"Would you shut-up, dog boy, I'm trying to hear the meeting," Marisol snapped. 

"Man, she'd got her panties all up in a wad today," Mac commented. 

"Yeah...she's freaky. She's super freaky...the kind you don't take home to mama," Eddie added, knowingly. 

"I'm about to slap that 'fro off your head, boy," Marisol hissed. 

"Marisol, violence solves noth--" Brodi started. 

"Butt out, kahuna," Marisol interupted. Soon all hell broke loose with Tenkai trying to regain some control over the meeting. Kaori sighed, smiling. Things were definately back to normal. Everything except Raven's disappearance. True, he hadn't originally been on the roster, but now he's absence made her feel empty. 

----  
It's the way  
That he makes you feel  
It's the way  
That he kisses you  
It's the way  
That he makes you fall in love  
----

The meeting was concluded, since no one could get another word in with all the arguing. Kaori walked along the beach after having left the hotel. She sat on the beach for a long time, looking out over the water at the glacier, it's smooth near-white surface reminding her of Raven's rarely-seen eyes. Everything reminded her of him, it seemed. She hugged her knees, wondering when the loneliness would finallu subside. 

----  
Pretty girl  
Pretty girl....  
----

Kaori stared at the ocean until the moon shown over head. She knew that sitting on the beach wasn't going to bring him back. She wish she knew some way to tell him she missed him. She remembered that he had read her files. Getting up, she dusted her butt off, and ran back to the hotel. Once there, she went straight to where the officials were keeping their records. She opened the door and peeked in, but didn't see anyone. 

She walked into the small room, closing the door behind her, and headed to the filing cabinet. Flipping through the files, she soon found hers and pulled it out. She sat at the desk and looked the file over, reading her bio and interviews. She picked up a piece of paper and a pen and wrote out a small letter to Raven about how much she missed him and loved him. She folded the paper up and tucked it in her file then put it back in the cabinet and left. Maybe he'd see it, maybe he wouldn't. It made her feel a little better though. 

----  
It's the way  
That he makes you cry  
It's the way  
That he in your mind  
It's the way  
That he makes you fall in love  
----

Kaori sniffled, crying softly. She was curled up on her bed in the hotel room the league had assigned to her. All of them pretty much had their own rooms if they wanted them. She hadn't wanted anyone to see her crying, so had chosen a private room. She wished she could just get over Raven already. He was gone and no amount of crying was bringing him back. She wondered if his time was any better now, if he was happy. She felt so lost and confused at the whole possibility of loving someone who she'd never see again. 

There was a soft knock at the door, rousing her from her pity party. She got up, wiping her eyes and checked herself over in the mirror. Opening the door, she just stared at the young man before her. He looked up through reddish-brown bangs with impossibly pale blue eyes. Kaori blinked, not knowing how to react. Slowly the boy held up an old peice of somewhat familiar paper. 

"I got your letter, bird," Raven said softly. Kaori threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly and crying. He held her against him. "I'm not leaving anymore. I love you, Kaori." 

"I love you, too, Raven," Kaori replied, burying her face against his well-muscled chest. "Promise you'll stay with me." 

"I'm going to do my best to try," Raven answered, kissing her. "I'll do my best." 

----  
It's the way  
That he makes you feel  
It's the way  
That he kisses you  
It's the way  
That he makes you fall in love  
Love  
---- 


End file.
